Sometimes those that share the most joy in the world are those that suffer silently. RIP Robin Williams

In light of the tragic death of Robin Williams, a true icon that created laughter and inspiration, I feel the need to go off topic. Sometimes those that share the most joy in the world are those that suffer silently. Depression is a mental illness that can affect anyone. Most of the time, we will not know who is suffering because they suffer silently. Some turn to drugs and alcohol to cope and then become addicted.

“For that first week you lie to yourself, and tell yourself you can stop, and then your body kicks back and says, no, stop later.”- Robin Williams to The Guardian UK  about his battle with addiction.

Depression is isolating. Addiction is isolating. Self deception is isolating. AlROBIN WILLIAMSl temporary solutions to a challenging condition. As a mental health professional, I always wish there was more we can do. It’s the reason I started my blog.

2 years ago I started the blog as a conversation with myself about my experiences and as a behavior modification model for anyone looking to establish healthy relationships. I wanted to create a place where people can go to affirm their experience or seek information to change a suboptimal situation they are in. I wanted to remove clinical barriers and provide any reader with public science. It’s also a clinical model that reverses the therapeutic model. The solution is upfront and the reader works backwards to identify the core issue. Behind the blog I created an algorithm to guide content and the clinical model.

If I can take turn back time, I would do practice with celebrities who suffer silently. We could’ve saved a life and countless lives.

“O captain, my captain.”

Nanu Nanu.

RIP Robin Williams

Depression resources:

http://www.nami.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Mental_Illnesses/Depression/Depression_Resources.htm

Suicide resources:

Home

Addiction resources:

http://www.cdc.gov/pwud/addiction.html

Take good care of yourselves and others.

 

49 thoughts on “Sometimes those that share the most joy in the world are those that suffer silently. RIP Robin Williams

    1. I am so glad that you have a course of treatment that helps you cope with the challenges of finding your ideal mate!

      As usual, thank you for sharing your insights and story with us! It can be immensely helpful and inspirational for others!

  1. Great post echoing some of my thoughts. The whole tragic story has brought to my mind once again the pain and suffering of people who suffer from depression.

    I am doing my part in raising awareness of depression (especially in men because of my personal experiences) and I think today has marked a real change. People are talking about depression, people are talking about suicide now and especially the enormous number of male suicides and it’s far more open than I have ever seen before.

    It’s a change for the positive, but there’s still a long way to go. Respect to you as ever Clarissa for doing what must be a very difficult job at times 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words and endless support CUCH! I admire you for being a voice to those that don’t have one. It is difficult for me to know that people are suffering and we could’ve prevented needless death. The lack of support and method of death is still shocking! http://news-briefs.ew.com/2014/08/12/robin-williams-death-was-suicide-by-hanging-marin-county-coroner-says/?hootPostID=7f96ca5d911e0e778e11cfb970804742

      I look forward to the day where better methods where we structure solutions and awareness in society to help prevent needless death, symptom exacerbation and isolation. Helping people cope, reduce anxiety and fear is something that would enhance anyone’s mental state.

      Thank you for the kind compliment CUCH! I really appreciate it! I do this work so that we can live in a world that celebrates our success, accomplishments and supports us when we are striving to cope with everyday hassles.

  2. Clarissa, Thank you for this article. It pains me to see comments on some of the news sites regarding the loss of Mr. Williams. I have seen many comments such as, “He had it all. What could he have been depressed about?” THAT is a tragedy.

    1. thanks mark for your comments! i really appreciate you sharing your insights with us! we can never really fully understand what is the reality of other people’s lives. it is helping people understand the duality that exists for so many. 

          1. What saddens me about the article is that on the outside everything looks shiny and pretty, but inside is the opposite. I wonder why he was sleeping in another room? why the wife didn’t check up on him in the morning?

  3. What most people don’t grasp is these are real conditions that cause real, unbearable suffering to the person. People who have them are not simply bad, or moody, or violent, or pessimistic, or ‘emo.’ They are people with actual conditions that affect the normal functioning of the brain. The symptoms and effects are often uncontrollable. They are debilitating. They make people unable to function as healthy adults and lead normal lives.

    1. Thanks so much for your very insightful comments! I really appreciate it! So many don’t fully understand the realities of mental illness or we stigmatize it in society. It is very debilitating for some because of the lack of support, helplessness, hopelessness, etc. What we are seeing as a result of Robin Williams’ death is the increased awareness and shock that it can affect anyone.

  4. Thanks for this article. What most people don’t grasp is these are real conditions that cause real, unbearable suffering to the person. People who have them are not simply bad, or moody, or violent, or pessimistic, or ‘emo.’ They are people with actual conditions that affect the normal functioning of the brain. The symptoms and effects are often uncontrollable. They are debilitating. They make people unable to function as healthy adults and lead normal lives.

  5. RW quote, from very recent NPR article: “I [was] led to comedy as a survival mechanism…”

    I think these nine words alone speak volumes about him, and the society he lived in. Each of us…famous, or not so famous; rich, or not so rich…is a completely unique human being deserving of full consideration AS SUCH, (And especially true for *clinical consideration*)

    If Mr. Williams exemplified anything, it was his uniqueness…and of course, his genius.

    ~Charles Macknee, MAIS

    1. Wow! That completely makes sense. I knew that he would perform when he was manic, but hadn’t quite considered what comedy did for his mental state. Thank you for sharing Charles! As a clinician, I am happy to think of this statement as I think about RW’s life!

  6. I was really upset when the word “demon” was used so frequently in association with Robin Williams depression (Front page of the daily news, letter written by the woman who established International Bipolar Foundation, claiming she was using it as an adjective??). Maybe it’s just me but I find it very backwards in the fight against stigma. I am commenting here as I am interested in others opinions on this. thank you

  7. The moment I heard about his passing, I immediately thought of the joy he brought others. I then thought to myself, “His presence created laughter, joy and positive energy to complete strangers. However, he was the one in need of this reciprocation.” He was crying out inside, but it seems nothing could alter the sadness.

    He found peace bringing joy to others, because similar to his childhood, this was his escape from bullying and the absence of both parents. Laughter was something he used, in order to build a bond with his mother, who as mentioned above, was absent, but not to the degree of his father who was out working.

    When you remove his ability to connect with others–his television show was canceled, previous marriages were completely eating away at him financially, movie roles not coming out the wood works…he felt completely overwhelmed. Such a tragedy.

    1. I felt the same as you did, One Gent! We can never really know the reality of a person’s life. What it looks like to us is always the opposite of what is really going on. I think I was shocked to learn that he wasn’t being paid what he was worth (75K USD for Aladdin?!?!?!)

      We often do things to hide our pain, actors and entertainers have more cloaking to do than non-entertainers. We all have histories and how we cope with the elements that make us feel pain. I wish we could live in a society that was more transparent and closer to what we feel. We would be able to help mental health improve and deal with conditions that are preventable.

      1. That’s rather true. We associate success and happiness by the things we see on the surface. However, if you truly want to understand success and happiness, you need to understand how a person feels internally. The surface can be a reflection of what they want you to see. In other words, you can falsify what you display on the surface.

        You cannot fake how you feel inside. He was completely against starring in “Mrs. Doubtfire 2,” because the first triggered horrible memories with his drug addiction. However, as much as he hated to sign on to the sequel, he had no choice due to the financial obligations (divorce).

        I am sooooooooooooo against the current laws for alimony, child support, etc. The corruption that is currently in place, does more harm than good. Nonetheless, he was facing major financial difficulties and when you combine that with depression, Parkinson’s and medication…it was a recipe for disaster. The pressure this man was under–I could only imagine.

        1. I agree that we couldn’t even begin to imagine the pressure’s he was under. Perhaps it is always a constant struggle with the surface reflection of what they want you too see. After awhile it gets harder to reconcile the facade.

          What shocked me the most is that his spouse left the house without checking in on him. While we can’t know how 2 people adjust themselves to one another, I felt it was so sad. In the sense that it echoed his loneliness.

          A brilliant and talented mind gone.

          1. Hi Clarissa, I just found your blog and love it…love the title..lol..in the midst of trying to set up my blog 99 years later, It was the reprieve i needed..I wanted to comment on your touching post; as someone who has battled depression for years, i was so saddened about Robin Williams…but also knew of his struggles…it definitely affects relationships, (as I write I am separated from husband #2)…I hear enough dating horror stories from friends to the point of googling are celibates more happy? lol.. Just a quick note to say I am glad i found your site..:)

            1. Thank you so much for your insightful comments and your courage to share your story! I think we were all deeply saddened by Robin Williams passing. As a scientist, I wish that we could do more. You are so inspirational to so many.

              So happy that you found my blog useful. Thank you so much for your support I really appreciate it. The dating scene is remarkably different for sure. The amount of people that are deceptive is ridiculous. Sadly, it doesn’t matter what stage people are in, dating in the age of technology isn’t easy.

              I’m going to encourage that you keep writing. You are a voice to those that don’t have one! Grateful to have met you, girl!

  8. He seemed so full of life and joy. This was personally a heavy blow to me. Sounds silly but I can mark time by the evolution of Robin Williams in my life. I grew up watching Mork and Mindy. Moscow on the Hudson was a favorite as a teen. Later I watched his stand-up and a remarkable library of films. I miss him. God Bless!

    1. I loved Mork and Mindy, too! It truly is the world’s loss. It’s times like this that you realize how precious life is and how we can’t possibly know what is happening in someone else’s life. Be well, Elizabeth!

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