Random guy at a bar starts chatting me up. Tells me all about his living arrangements, relocation drama, & work. Tells me how German laws are very lenient around manslaughter. How did we get to this topic, you ask? “Well, in Germany you can rape children and only be put on probation.” Really? “I’ll give you an example. A friend of mine who is involved with the Russian mob, was chasing a guy down to beat him with a bat. The victim is naturally running away, but gets hit by a car and becomes paralyzed for life. My friend served no sentence in prison. He was just put on probation.”

“Wow. Any other secrets you want to tell me about?”

“Yes. I have a bucket list.”

“Oh yeah? It doesn’t involve maiming anyone does it?”

“No. I’d like to have sex with a Brazilian women [meaning me].” So, if you can let me know within the next half hour if that can happen. I’m staying in this hotel.”

“Looks like you’ll be masturbating to the idea, then.”

“You mean you would turn down good sex?”

“Good bye!”

I told you this ridiculous story to tell you this. After telling me about his own shady run ins with the law, that he has taken every drug known to man, and that he had a recipe for crystal meth on him; he thought it was gonna get him laid? Oh and that he is good sex, according to him. People: Am I crazy?