It’s the time of year where everyone and their momma is having holiday parties. There are some parties that you feel you should go to, that you have to go to, and that you need to pre-party before you go to. In the spirit of festivities my friend and I had to go to all three in one night. Of course adventures are synonymous with holiday parties!
So, we started off at a bar before we went to the obligatory party for alittle pre-party action. As we try to maneuver through the crowd, two gentleman walk up to us and offer to buy us drinks. This random act of kindness is because one of the gentlemen are celebrating their birthday. Huh of all things. As we listen to them talk about themselves and how great they are, one turns to me and says “so how about my birthday present?”. Of course! The angle was set up from the very beginning. “So, you go up to random girls and ask them to hang with you on your “birthday”? Do you both get beyond a drink with girls?”. “Well, he’s married and this place’s nickname is whore house.” What? Really? “Is that right? I’m kind of perplexed because a) your wing man is a married guy and b) you’re using the birthday pickup line at a place that is nicknamed whore house.” “You don’t know how hard It is to get women these days.It used to be so much easier it took a drink.” “I get that, but don’t you think it looks kind of bad that you don’t have friends to hang with on your birthday and your trolling around with a married guy? Isn’t that just gonna be pity sex?” “Hey you think I care what it looks like, I just want to get off. Men want to get off. If he’s not getting any at home, he’ll find some girl with daddy issues that will get with him.” Merry Christmas to me! Finally got to understand what men really want! Thank you birthday boy!
So, we head over to the first party: the you should go one. We are there for 15 minutes and some guy comes up to me and starts talking about what he does. I tell him about my blog. Flood gates. He decides to tell me all about his sexual experiences and casually reveals that he’s a sex addict. “Not the I’ve had sex with almost everyone in this room; the Tiger Woods type.” I would imagine he is making a minor distinction about selectivity. I didn’t want to be nosey. 🙂 This is a high brow party afterall. He divulged his escapades and I just nodded. He turns to me and says “hey, do you want to have sex on the balcony?”. I laugh it off and politely tell him no. He tried this all night long with several of my friends. We compared notes.
We go to the next party. As we are ready to leave, a random women approaches us and starts chatting me up. It felt like I was on an interview. She kept peering into my eyes like she was trying to penetrate into my soul. Felt uncomfortable, but thought nothing of it. Then walks in her husband and complains about being sick and not himself. Because if he was himself he would invite us back to his place for a nightcap. Sweet! My evening would have not been complete till I got propositioned by swingers! And the gifts just keep on coming!
All of these adventures in one night! I have 4 more days till Christmas! Can’t wait to see what else Santa has in store for me! Have a great holiday everyone!
sounds like a sex in city episode, i never watched an episode in my life i only saw the promos lol..i wish i was that lucky to get picked up at parties but i am guy so i am suppose to do the picking up but it would be nice, you can write another blog when you picked up a guy just because you wanted to turn the tables..but i guess after a while it gets tiring because you are there to relax have a good time and here comes another person trying to hump your leg..another day another party good luck on the next one see if it turns out normal and decent that you hoped it to be..but with each party it never changes drinks people craziness in some form or the other
Thanks, Mark. Yeah Sex and the City or a Twilight Zone episode! You are so right about so many points: humping your leg is no beuno and these parties are filled with everything from drunken craziness to lowered inhibition. As far as the turning the tables idea, you have to check out this video. It is what happens when women switch roles for the night: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152303869825223&set=vb.179827298769929&type=2&theater Isn’t it hilarious? Thanks for the idea. I’m going to consider it. But, I’m gonna do everything in the video 🙂 Yeah, I’m hoping that I just have normal nights till Christmas. Thanks for that! Enjoy your holiday festivities!
Crazy men!
GIrl!!!! What is going on this year?
Classic stories. Hope you have more Christmas Parties to go to so I can hear more! 🙂
Lol thanks for laughing at my pain! Glad you find it entertaining;)
the facebook video was funny one of best video this year thanks for sharing..i need to find that bar lol..you will have better luck next year look you survived mayan end of days so far step in the right direction..look at the bright side your weekends seem to be more fun than mines you have something to write about..my weekends are spent hugging the tv xbox360 ps3 in some order not much to write about..enjoy your holidays also with your friends sober/not so sober and family
Glad you enjoyed the video! It cracked me up! I thought you’d enjoy it! Glad that my life can entertain you when you’re not playing ps3 🙂 Have a great holiday with your family and friends!
Well, do know that we are not all that way. If I were married, for one, I would not be hitting up on some girl or woman.
Two, I actually care about who I have sex with. A night with a stranger would have been something to watch in the making.
Know you are not alone. I would have found that all very strange.
By the way, congrats on your virtue.
Scott
Thanks for your kind words Scott! I really appreciate it! I don’t feel so much like I’m a misfit: this stuff only happens to me! Thanks so much for empathizing with my holiday party debauchery! Thank you so much for the compliment and your support! Happy Holidays, Scott!
Wow. You have an interesting life…lol. Haven’t been to a genuine party in forever. Fun reading though.
Thanks for the positive spin on what was a ridiculous night! Maybe we should swap places one night!
Haha. Really! But you might snooze out on mine…
Haha after that night, I have had many quiet nights 🙂 Mostly for sanity & grounding purposes! Lol
That’s funny. The good thing is that all those experiences are learning opportunities for the rest of life. Especially when they don’t resonate, I think.
Absolutely! No other reason for us to encounter it other than to have a teachable moment in there somewhere! Mine should be stay your ass at home!
Hahaha. Enjoy the stage your at to the fullest. Live it, revel in it. Life is short and change is swift, so even if it;s a little weird, enjoy every single moment you have to live a life. Every one. I miss it…
So true! Girl, why dies it sound like you’re writing from beyond & now I miss it statement!? You mean single life?
I mean life. Aww, honey the transformation I’ve been through in the last 4 years. Check out my blog, some of the personal entries. Just live a veeeeery different life than I once did? Drastically different, on a way different budget, I don’t go out, very disillusioned around dating, and add to that developing a creative project that takes oodles of time.
So all of that equals NO life right now. But it’s been that way steadily for a little bit. Hope to shake things up a bit in 2013, but I don’t even have the wardrobe anymore. It’s crazy, this recession threw me for more than a loop. Then there were some tough lessons relationship wise too. Check it out: http://livingintherabbithole.wordpress.com/2013/01/12/denied-return-to-self/
So, you enjoy it aaaaaaaall while ya can! Haha. All of it!
You know, love, sometimes we have to go through periods of death of our former selves to experience rebirth. To align ourselves with the life we are supposed to live. Life is a series of lessons that make us revisit what & how we were living. The good thing is it is all temporary. It changes to be different or to be the same. What we do determines the outcome. While it might seem bleak at this time, it will change! The reality about life is that we emerge from a situation with time. The things you are experiencing are based on a social reality. Many of us have had to adjust different aspects of our lives because of the economic uncertainty. In all areas of life: love, money, career, jobs, homes, health, food, etc. because we need money to get basic necessities or go out on dates. I say your situation is only temporary.
You are fortunate to have a talent that you can capitalize on and that may be the best project you will do in your life. In terms of relationships, we always find ourselves learning more about what we need as we go along. Seems to me that you have gained a great deal of perspective and not going to tolerate other people’s bs.
Although you might not have your caviar & dom budget any longer :), you still can go out and socialize differently. Maybe you should find an artists group that has mixers with buyers, gallery owners, emerging talent, etc. that way you have a network. Art galleries usually host a weekly opening night that is free to the public & the perfect place for you to pitch your creative project. The other thing you might want to do is something I often do: find a nonprofit area that you would like to show support to, meet with the CEO/Executive Director and let them know that you would be willing to auction off one piece of art to help them fund raise. Press and donors (potential buyers) are usually at these events. I personally have been floored when emerging artists would come up to me and say they wanted to offer us something or host an event on our behalf.
Just some ideas off the cuff. You might have tried the artist & gallery thing, but wanted to remind you. 🙂
Am gonna check out the blog entries you referenced! Promise not to write a book 🙂
How much do you rock huh? Wow!!!!!!!!!!!
*******THANK-YOU!!!!!!**** I am going to write down all your suggestions, they’re GREAT!!!!!!! Wonderful!!!!! And you’re right about the artist groups, I am rekindling my meetups after the disappointing start with online dating. Ugh. But you just gave me a great idea. :))) Wow, lady. Keep in touch!!! I’ll definitely be around!!!
Lol…did anyone at least wish you a merry christmas? As a guy, I guess all I can say is that at least I hope the food was good!
LOL! Can’t believe it NO ONE wished me a Merry Christmas! That;s the second piece of bad news: since we were trying to make all 3 of these parties we didn’t have a chance to sample any food!!!
Aww thank you! xoxoxo So glad you found it useful and that you are gonna try it out! Can’t wait to hear all about your outcomes!