Online Dating Tips

Naked with the dog

This date was courtesy of an online dating website. After several attempts at scheduling a date because of dog sitting issues, we finally meet for dinner. He had just returned from a vacation with his dog. Just the 2 of them. Very cute, right? Or creepy, whatever. He seemed to be nice enough. While at dinner he explained how they had a lovely relaxing time (yes, him & the dog), he’s had to hire 3 dog sitters because the dog was bored of the first 2, satisfied with his job, and now looking to form the next phase of his life. I’m listening, answering his questions, engaging in conversation.

He says to me “you know I feel so comfortable with you. Like I can share anything with you.”

“Aww that’s very sweet thank you!” Right?

He leans in and says “I want to share something personal with you”.

“I am flattered. Please feel free. “

“You know I really love my dog.” Yes, I do. “I love playing with him. We love playing with each other. He really gets me through some of the loneliness I feel, sometimes.”

“Of course. That’s awesome that you have the dog in your life to help you through those times. People underestimate how much companionship, caring, love, and responsibility a dog provides. Some people treat their dogs as they would a child.”

“I’m so glad to hear you say that. So many people don’t understand that kind of feeling you get from a pet. In fact, I’d like to tell you something else.” [Leans in closer]. “I play with my dog naked.”

“WHAT?”

“Yes, I mean, the dog is naked; why shouldn’t I be? I really like the feeling of his fur on my naked body.”

I get up from the table. He says” where are you going? Are you offended by this?”

Oh, absolutely not. I just forgot that I had to play with my cat.

112 thoughts on “Online Dating Tips

    1. Thanks so much, Sam! I couldn’t believe it! I wonder if he thought it was heading somewhere. I wonder why he would even divulge this piece of information to a total stranger, on a first meeting, at a packed restaurant!

    1. So true, girl! Thank you so much for the compliment! It makes me laugh every time I talk about it! 🙂 Love your blog! When I saw your picture thought the blog was going to be your modeling site!!! Beautiful pictures! Even more beautiful blog! Thanks for sharing with us!

  1. I did, Lawrence! I found your post hilarious! Thank you, my friend, for laughing w/me! It wasn’t so funny at the time! Now, I just wonder what is wrong with people to reveal this level of information or with that he felt comfortable enough to tell that story to a perfect stranger that he met for the first time!?!?!

  2. lol…perhaps he’s watched ‘Thanks Smokey’ one too many times. I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen that production by Zoochosis…you can easily find it on YouTube. It’s very ‘off-beat’ and appears to be quite popular with close to 13 million views and about a 98% approval rating…and a very catchy tune!

      1. Hilarity would’ve ensued! But, you did a pretty epic job, considering the circumstances. I think, in that situation, I would’ve been lost for words. 🙂

          1. I can only imagine! I would’ve wanted to punch him in the face, too. But, since I’m short, I probably would’ve just kicked him in the shins instead! Ha! Keep up the awesome writing! I enjoy reading them. 🙂

    1. Thank you sooo much! I really appreciate your kind words & support! Yeah, it was so crazy that I had to blog about it! Seriously couldn’t believe that it even was happening, girl! So ridiculous! I’m glad you enjoyed the story 🙂

  3. I thought I had heard it all! You just never know do you? Thanks for checking out my blog. I’m glad you enjoyed it. It’s amazing how many people have experienced online dating craziness. I feel pretty blessed to have been able to laugh at those kind of situations and end with the man of my dreams!

    1. OMG! He wanted to bring his dog on the first date! But decided against it because he had just come back from vacation with the dog because he wanted to get a break from the dog! It sounded like the had a lovers quarrel and he needed to distance himself. Then as the date got closer, he didn’t think he could trust the 3 people that had been taking care of the dog. He told me the dog had to be on strict punishment and had to learn to appreciate him!!!!! I thought I was on a reality show! LOL

  4. People can act funny with their dogs. I once dated a man (once was enough) who moved from a house to an apartment. Because of the height of the windows his dog couldn’t see outside and got all depressed. So, what does he do? He takes the dog to an animal psychiatrist. Ten sessions and the dog becomes so independent that now ignores his master. So, who needs a psychiatrist now? And what about just taking his dog out for a walk. Love your blog…look forward to reading more of your writing.

    1. Lol Carfour that’s a hilarious story! Thanks for sharing! You are right dog people read into things that aren’t there. My friend cracks me up when she talks about her dog just laying there relaxing & she thinks it’s depressed! I told her dogs emulate their owners’ behavior & that she’s giving the dog issues! 😉 lol I thought I was funny!

      Thanks for your kind remarks about my blog! I really appreciate it! Excited to check yours out!

          1. Thanks!! =) Well, I dabbled with RSVP for a bit, but it was too exhausting and too many weirdos messaging me who are not in my age range at all!

            I had a crazy one on RSVP… I blogged it under “Why I deleted my RSVP account”. So glad that was done and dusted!

              1. Well, I’m based in Australia and RSVP was recommended by a friend. I’ve heard loads of people meeting cool ones from there, but I guess I was the lucky one! 😉

                Nope, haven’t heard of Hinge. I think I’m just gonna use tinder for now… it’s too hard to track if I use too many I think…

                1. It happens to all of us! It partially probability. Yeah, I am in NYC & we tend to be cross-listed on several sites at one time. Because we like abuse lol!!!

                  Well, I’m looking forward to hearing about all your adventures and success!!

                  1. Hahaha, yeah since moving to Sydney, I’ve gained interest in being outdoor so between balancing my social life, being outdoor, work, and keeping my flat clean, time is precious commodity!

                    Thanks! I’m looking forward what the future will bring too! By the way, my friend has posted it – see under “Chai Tea Disaster” =)

  5. You think he’d have the sense to hold off conversation on canine cavorting until the pivotal third date, at least, but I guess some secrets are too exciting not to share. Sub-optimal indeed.

  6. I am sitting here, attempting to come up with an intelligent response to this story.. but all I can manage is, “wow”.
    Dating Adventures.. gotta love ’em. 🙂

    1. Yeah I just gave this fella too much opportunity!!! 🙂 Most would have never gotten to the date part with this crazy ass. He seriously wouldn’t stop talking about his dog and the rituals he would go through. He’s one of those dog owners that treats their pet like a human being. Obviously, he just omitted the bestiality part till you meet him in life. Lucky me!

      1. Lol pets are great. I love my pets. But there have to be boundaries!!!!’ I cannot stress the fruit loop part enough. To be honest, he should be locked up for animal cruelty.

  7. I’m almost tearing up from laughing so hard. So freakin’ funny. You didn’t offer your inner dialogue, but I hope, like me, you love experiencing life’s rare moments of anticipation after someone let’s you know they are going to same some stupid shit.

    1. Lol I’m so glad it made you laugh! I wanted to commit a crime that night! Lol

      But what bothered me is not that he said it, but that he thought I’d be ok w/it. Dumbass. If he only knew it be on a blog with over 60 comments!

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your support for my shitty experience 😉 I really appreciate it!

  8. I think I just briefly dated this same guy a couple of months ago! It’s one thing to love your dog. It’s quite another to “love” your dog! LMAO!!!! Needless to say, that was the end of that! Happy blogging!

    1. Lol! The sad thing is that I don’t think these type of guys think there’s anything wrong with it?! And by type I mean those into beastiality 😉

      Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and sharing in my pain;) Have a great one!

  9. No words for how shocking that must have been. Love your reaction (leaving immediately) and response. Any future Online dating searches, everyone must avoid any ads that state “Must love dogs” lol. Just sayin……….
    Thanks for sharing this.

    JMC

    1. Appalling! Thanks so much for your kind words JMC! I really appreciate it!

      It did take extraordinary restraint not to punch him in the face 😉

      If you take pet vacations & book several dog sitters in 1 day, you might want to run 😉

      Thanks for stopping by! Have a happy holiday!

      1. Appalling is a good word, but still a little weak I think.

        Thank you for stopping by my site as well. Drop in again any time.

        You have a safe and happy holiday as well.

    1. So glad you enjoyed it BA!!! Yeah, you’re right if you can’t laugh at your most ridiculous experiences, you won;t be able to enjoy the better moments.

      But, I have to tell you that I wanted to straight punch him in the face 🙂 THAT would have made me laugh in the moment!! 🙂

    1. ahahahaha! That’s precious! I wonder what deludes these types of guys to feel like they could share this level of info! I mean it’s not creating desire, intimacy or attraction! But, I do have to say that I admire their approach to disqualifying themselves and others who are not into their shortcomings!!! LMAO!!!

  10. Interesting, conversation. You just never know. Perhaps he was not trying to create desire, intimacy, or attraction. There are alot of gay dudes on the dating scene that love playing with women’s minds. On the other hand, perhaps he was strange, or maybe a really nice guy that loves his furry dog. Who knows? The post was definitely entertaining, LOL.

      1. Your welcome Clarissa! I really enjoy reading articles based on dating and human sexuality. It is actually a topic that more Americans should learn about. Since your an MSW (Intellectual), you might find this book I am reading interesting. It is called Healthy Sex Drive, Healthy You: What Your Libido Reveals About Your Life by Dr. Diana Hoppe. I picked my copy up at a local library.

                    1. Correct, only me. Intimacy beats debauchery any day. Forget the crowds! Oh, and drunkenness? Why beat up my liver and kidneys and give myself a headache? There are many more fun things to do. Winks!@ Clarissa. I would never post my personal photos on blog.

      1. Hahaha 🙂

        I just sent this post to my best friend who needs to be reminded about the weirdos lurking about …. and that it might be best to just ignore her husband instead of contemplating divorce because he gets on her last nerve.

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  12. On date number one, I am not going to disclose that I walked in on my folks having sex, or that I saw two animals making out (two made up stories of course). There are things you should keep to yourself–playing naked with your dog falls in that category. Luckily, you had your cat to play with. Lol

    1. Exactly! I thought decorum might be out of fashion. I’m all for disclosing your preferences when your comfortable. Just not while I’m eating! I don’t want the visual while I eat!

      I agree it wasn’t the most stellar of me to say, but neither was he. It was the quickest thing I could think of that was crazy enough to work 🙂

      1. Oh, you did nothing wrong with the cat response. That was darn hilarious. LoL. I am honestly perplexed by some of the things, which people decide to share on the first date. It’s like they do not have a filter.

        1. I’d like to say that this was a rare occurrence, but people have been consistently disclosing information that should be shared a lot later 🙂 The more we advance technologically, the more people are losing the ability to have social grace 🙂

  13. Thanks for openly sharing. As my mom used to say “Be the change you wish to see in the world” 🙂

  14. “Girls should try to avoid pre-judging before a first date. Whether it’s someone you’re meeting online or it’s someone your friends know, aim to drop the things you know about them and start fresh. Don’t ask your friends to tell you everything they can because you can end up with a tainted view of what to expect. Half the fun of going out is getting to know someone new, so allow yourself to let that happen organically.” —Oliver B.

    1. Thanks for your great quote and feedback Andrew! I agree that one of the biggest problems people have is consulting with other people who have nothing to do with the results. We just have to follow our gut on what we think will work for us. Most of the time people don’t really need to get confirmation about what could be wrong about the person-you already know. Pre-judging does lead to failure, but in some cases it does work. If you sense a red flag, chances are it is right. We just choose to ignore it!

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