Really? And that’s why you’re just a dumbass

Say you want to meet someone that has the potential for long-term,  would you write this?

“I think you’re hot. So I’ll lay it all out…

I would like to date someone open to BDSM and some kinky pursuits in a and passionate relationship. I seek a submissive woman who craves a dominant man as a private element to our monogamous relationship. 

Does this appeal to you? Do you want to know more?”

Probably not, right? Ok, so let’s look at the strategy shall we? 🙂 So, this message gets sent out to x amount of women hoping that a fraction of that number responds back to you. And I completely appreciate that you are treating online dating like a job interview. Qualifying candidates to put them on a return call list. Very efficient strategy 🙂 I wonder how many wound up on that return call list?

Want to improve your online dating odds, here’s some tips from a behavioral scientist:

1. Online is hard because you can’t convey the 3-D you. When writing to someone, write as though you are addressing your target audience. The above letter was written by a man trying to appeal to a woman, but sounds like a sales pitch. Don’t write as yourself about what you want only. Be genuine and appeal to the gender you are writing to.  

2. Try to be congruent. If you list that your main relationship option is to find a potential long term relationship but act like you just want a casual encounter; it can be perceived as deceptive. Which will definitely not result in any dates with what you want.

3. Try to be alluring. The main point of the communication and online dating is to go on a date(s). Rather than writing out your life story before meeting, save that for a date! For men trying to attract women, women appreciate you trying to pursue and impress them. It is kind of replicating the real world. For women trying to attract men, men appreciate women that they won’t quickly categorize as having “issues”.

Watch the premiere of play ideal date! An Official Hangout on Air during Social Media Week!

I have recently had the honor of being an Official Hangout on Air during Social Media Week. A special thanks to GoogleGoogle+  Social Media Week, Concentric Media, Nicky Yates  for the opportunity to premiere my new online dating concept!

This is a true honor! To have an idea that I developed years ago to have the technology, stage, and support to make this a reality is beyond description for me! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaDNCY_qRP4&feature=g-user-u

I developed this concept to offer people a unique approach to dating.  What makes Play Ideal Date different is a mixed method matching system based on personalized attention and online participation. I have created a questionnaire and algorithm that will guide the matching system and the show. All participants will complete a questionnaire and then I will select candidates that I will include as the featured guest. Together with the featured guest, we will determine the key variables of the algorithm that will be used to guide the game on the dating show! Once the featured guest and I have determined the key priority areas that completes their algorithm, I use that to screen for potential candidates to be included in the show. This information will be used to guide the show! Another feature that makes our process even more intriguing is the Google Hangouts cameraman app that allows us to hide and mute our guest from influencing any of the contestant’s answers.  Play Ideal Date is designed to be a modern version of The Dating Game and you can find us on the web at http://playidealdate.com.

If you’re interested in participating please email me at info@playidealdate.com for the questionnaire and show requirements. All of your information will be held confidential.

Want to spice up Valentine’s Day?

love-u-valentines-day-19080940-1024-768It’s Valentine’s Day and whether we are in a relationship or not, this holiday is designed to remind us about love. Love is not just an emotion, it’s an ability. So, let’s rightsize this holiday for everyone, shall we.

Single’s Awareness Day

I think that a mixed dating method is a better approach to dating. For the simple reason that once you are offline and in a relationship it is the interaction that will sustain the relationship. Although rejection might be a driving deterring factor in public dating, it amazes me that it is not a deterrent in any other area of life you desire. Do we think about it during a job interview, a graduate school application, or salary negotiations?

The restaurants are all packed and serving pre-fixe dinners. What to do? Hmm. Nothing like starting an online dating profile on a day when you know other singles have no dinner plans. These are the two sites that I recommend:

  1. IvyDate is a simple, easy-to-use, matching based online dating website that features Ivy League graduates. All members are reviewed and approved by IvyDate. You are matched up with exceptional singles who value intellectual curiosity, love of learning, creativity, drive and determination.
  2. Matchmaker Café is a Facebook application that allows you to connect with people without being Facebook friends first. MMC sets up members on real dates at a real cafe through the network of a real matchmaker. For many, the advantages are that the app and services are very schedule and time conscious. They make the dates happen and introduce you when you get there. Sign-up is through Facebook, where you can set your own privacy settings.

Amateur/Rookie Night

I recently had the honor of being a guest on Maria Quiban’s MommyLovesTech Sex, Marriage & Romance: Valentines Special on Keeping the Flame Lit! google+ Hangout on Air. The show featured the founders of One Extraordinary Marriage, Tony & Alisa DiLorenzo, who shared some of their tips on how to keep up the levels of intimacy in your relationship while maintaining a balance in all areas of your life. One of the key points that the couple highlighted was to schedule intimacy with your partner that involves no electronic device interruption. Rather than going out on this night, make this your scheduled intimacy night. Another  idea Tony & Alissa recommend is to take it back to a point where you didn’t really on your computer or cell for entertainment, play naked twister with one another!

Want to find a date in 1 hour? Play the Ideal Date Dating Game!

Many of you know from my last post,The best online dating screener: google+ hangouts, I am a big fan of the google+ hangouts. Since I have been actively using it, I have been doing a lot of research and have created the concept of Play Ideal Date Dating Game. It is a show that will offer participants a unique approach to dating. The uniqueness of the model is that it is a mixed method matching system based on personalized attention and online dating.

I have created a questionnaire and algorithm that will guide the matching system and the show. All participants will complete a questionnaire, then I will select candidates that I will include as the featured guest, then I work with the featured guest to determine the key variables of the algorithm that will be used to guide the game on the dating show! Once the featured guest and I have determined the key priority areas that completes their algorithm, I use that to screen for potential candidates to be included in the show. Together we will use your key priority areas to develop the questions we will ask the potential candidates on the show! It is a modernized version of the Dating Game!

The show is called Ideal Date because in the event that the guest feature is interested in more than one candidate, I simply have helped them find the ideal date, which is simply the most recommended candidate. Future shows will include the candidates that were not matched in that session. Built on the idea that dating should be fun!

Who is eligible you ask? Men & women, 25-55, who are single and have a completed Google+ profile page. The best part of this method are that the Guest Feature will be able to determine some levels of compatibility, chemistry and likeability before committing to a date. After the show is conducted and the couple is matched, I request a simple follow-up to know how the date went.

If you’re interested in participating please email me at info@playidealdate.com for the questionnaire and show requirements. All of your information will be held confidential.