Online Dating Rituals of the American Male

Bravo’s latest dating installment “Online Dating Rituals of the American Male” is a hilarious show. Ever wonder why so many of the “Online Dating Rituals of the American Male” guys are being dumbasses? Ever wonder why the girls seem desperate? Want to increase your craydar while online dating?

Just check out my twitter feed from the first episode  for some of the comedy:Screenshot 2014-04-04 at 3.24.47 PM - Edited.png

Despite these characters, the show has a nice mix of professionals, entrepreneurs, and aspiring singles. It has featured these types with a bird’s eye view into what men are thinking as they go on dates and while they are on dates. Some of it is designed to shock you, most of it is built on some stereotype of what men are doing in the new online dating scene.  According to a recent article by Paul Hudson,, the show really highlights how the hook-up culture is impacting the dating scene.

The show will have you wondering why guys like Alex, Grant or Brian get away with being dumbasses? Then you’ll have women like Alix, Mindy, or Candis that you really want to cheer on, but watch them fail miserably. If anything it will increase your craydar while online dating :)

Online Dating Rituals of the American Male airs Tuesday nights at 10pm EST on Bravo. Watch the show it is entertaining!

What people don’t tell you about dating the wrong types.

When you’re dating down, you aren’t always aware that you are doing it. I came up with an inventory to help you identify some of the red flags on Stop dating down! If you are doing 4 or more of these things, chances are you are settling in your relationship. Once you realize this is a feature of your relationships, then you can see if this yields a pattern in your life.

So, let’s begin by talking about the types of thinking that occurs, then we’ll talk about what occurs as a result.

Type 1: I know that s/he isn’t xyz, but they possess abc.cheating

Type 2: I know that s/he isn’t what I normally date, but I was unsuccessful with my past types.

Both types create a false sense of intimacy, hope, trust, and disillusionment in the relationship. If you are lying to yourself in the relationship, it’s easy to disillusion yourself about the realities of the relationship. In addition to decreasing your standards, you are changing your tolerance level of other people’s lies they tell themselves and you accepting it as your reality (their bullshit).

Which invariably creates Type 3: I’m getting a shot at someone I normally wouldn’t have a shot with and this is great!  

This is creating a false sense of hope in someone else and they will apply that to their next relationship. Type 3 will pursue people that they probably wouldn’t ever approach because they have this new inflated self-esteem. While the person who has admitted to dating down, has a diminished self-esteem.


#ConnectChat: How to Keep Your Blog Readers Engaged

Clarissa Silva, MSW:

I am deeply honored to be featured on PR Newswire’s Beyond Bylines! If you you are interested in learning how to get more engagement on your blog from a behavioral scientist’s perspective, read these strategies I developed!

Originally posted on Beyond Bylines:

Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist, clinician, and blogger, shared her blog engagement secrets on ProfNet's #ConnectChat
Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist, clinician, and blogger, shared her blog engagement secrets on ProfNet’s #ConnectChat

Is there a science behind running an engaging blog?

ProfNet recently asked this question during its #ConnectChat on Twitter. The guest was Clarissa Silva, a behavioral scientist, clinician, and founder of a relationship wellness blog with more than 2,000 comments.

During the chat, Silva explained how other bloggers can structure their blog to receive more shares, likes, comments, and other engagements. In addition, Silva provided dos and don’ts on engaging readers.

Read the chat recap here:

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

I am a behavioral scientist and clinician with 16 years of experience in mental health, behavioral science, and public health. I created “You’re Just a Dumbass,” as a very tongue-in-cheek relationship wellness blog to help people select and maintain healthy relationships and avoid some of the difficult life lessons…

View original 961 more words

Wow! I’m on a Times Square Jumbotron, baby!

Happy International Women’s Day and Month!

As a women of color and scientist, it is incredibly exciting for me to see the technological and scientific advances in society and to see so many women who want to pursue a career in STEM. Please encourage, support, or mentor women in “non-traditional” careers till we no longer call it nontraditional.

If anyone would have asked medo you think you will be on a Times Square jumbotron and sharing techniques that you developed on open public platforms?” 


I was recently honored to participate to on a twitter chat with PRNewswire ProfNet hashtag #connectchat about the strategies I created for my blog, If you’d like to learn strategies, you can access the recap article here:

Thank you to all who support the advancement of women in STEM, entrepreneurship, and enterprise.

So excited for my 1t twitter chat! Join if you want to learn strategies for your blog!

Many of you have asked me to provide tips on how to get started with your blog, engage your audience and build blog/brand awareness. I am honored to be able to share tips with you on an upcoming Twitter chat with PR Newswire’s ProfNet hashtag #connectchat.

Screenshot 2014-03-01 at 5.26.09 PM

To participate in the chat, join us on Twitter on Tuesday,  March 4, from 3 to 4:30 p.m. EST and follow the #ConnectChat hashtag to  follow the conversation between @urjustadumbass@ProfNet and the rest of the chat participants.

A huge thank you to PR Newswire’s ProfNet and Polina Opelbaum for the honor of featuring me as a guest!

Wow!!! I was awarded Top 100 Sex, Love, Lust, and Love Blogs

My blog, YOU’RE JUST A DUMBASS, was awarded Top 100 Sex, Love, Lust, and Love Blogs by!!!

Screenshot 2014-02-25 at 3.40.26 PM, the leader in online STD testing, searched over 1200 sites for the best blogs and websites in the sex, dating, love, and relationship categories.

81. Clarissa Silva is not your average single chick with a blog. While she does write about her experiences (which she often describes as “suboptimal,” betraying her background as a scientist and researcher), she does so for the benefit of the reader. After spending time developing techniques for her clients to use to “create relationship wellness,” she decided to share her perspective and wisdom. Her blog is a unique blend of stories about douchebags she met through online dating sites and suggestions for how to date by creating a “happiness hypothesis” and testing it out. Silva’s blend of logic, science, and humor make You’re Just A Dumbass a humorous and educational read.

Thanks for the award and all the work that you do in helping people maintain healthy sexual relationships! It is a true honor to be among these amazing bloggers! In addition to the tremendous honor of the ranking, we also get $500 in gift cards that I’ll be donating to a nonprofit or giving away at a future event I hold.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Happy Valentine’s Weekend everyone!

Hope you all are going to have a great day! Single with no plans? Watch my segment on NBC KRNV to get tips on how to change that!

Enjoy everyone!!!


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