Dealing with a break-up, separation or divorce is often difficult. Here are a few things that can help you cope with the break-up, separation or divorce.
1. Try to refrain from highlighting negative things about your ex. Simply because it disrespects you. Afterall, you were in the relationship with the person. When you re-tell events or character flaws, the person listening will wonder why you were in the relationship to begin with. Utilize your discussions to be about rebuilding yourself and not diminishing the other person because that doesn’t improve your sense of self. It may feel good in the short-term, but not long-term.
2. Cultivate a network of support that has diverse perspectives. That way you will have different outlets to express the range of your emotions. Especially when dealing with divorce where you can experience anger, resentment, and loss all in the same breath.
3. Forgive yourself. The only thing you did was try to show someone love and cultivate a life for you both. Allow yourself to feel the pain and unburden yourself of what was your former life. All you did was demonstrate that you have the capacity to love and build a life for yourself. You can do it again.
Thanks to a great relationship wellness panel discussion by The Law Firm of Wisselman, Harounian & Associates, P.C.
What an extraordinary honor of being placed as the #1 Best Adult Dating Blog Award from Great Dating Blogs! I want to thank all of you who voted for me! I really appreciate it! I am so glad that people find my blog useful, practical, and worthy of being #1 out of so many excellent bloggers!
I started this blog in hopes that it could help change people’s lives, their dating experiences and to laugh at some of the ridiculousness that happens in the dating scene! You can’t imagine how it feels to know that in cheering people on to find better, laughing with many of you about my own experiences, learning from everyone, being inspired by so many of you that my blog receives this honor!
Thank you all so much for the support, votes, comments, and inspiration!
Check out all of the fabulous winners in all of the categories:
Submit or nominate your/a blog here for 2014: http://www.greatdatingblogs.com/enter-or-nominate/
Relationships can be challenging because of the things that are unresolved within us. We learn more about ourselves while we are in relationships through mirroring or confrontation of our true selves. This sometimes causes hurt because you might be resolving past hurt in a current relationship or dealing with aspects of yourself that are unexplored.
Sometimes we experience relationship failures because of our expectations. Those expectations become the disillusionment in the relationship. Here’s what we can do: the 3 D’s to help get closer to that ideal person.
- Distinguish between what you need and want. Your previous relationships where all tests of what you thought you wanted or needed or a combination of both. Extract the answers from those past experiences.
- Define what your happiness hypothesis entails. Be honest with yourself. The #1 person we lie to is ourselves. Despite the hurt you might have experienced, it made you recognize the things that you won’t find acceptable in another relationship.
- Decide what you want your life will look like with your ideal partner 5 years from now. Sometimes we focus on the immediate goals or just that we found someone. Go beyond the immediate time frame and add into the mix what it will be like to have that person along with you during major life events and how that person will handle goal-seeking together.
First, I’d like to thank all of my followers and readers. I am extremely grateful for your support. Many of you I have cried, laughed, cheered, and ranted with. Most of all I feel like we have gotten to a better place together.
When you are not in a relationship, getting over a relationship/divorce, the holidays can be a challenging time of the year. Each relationship we go through really teaches us about what we need or what we needed to overcome to set you up for a healthy relationship. If you’re currently struggling to get over a relationship, there are a few things you can think about to help overcome some of the pain associated with the break-up.
1. Think about the things that lead you to that relationship in the first place.
2. Think about the things that attracted you to the person.
3. Think about what you were looking for before you got into the relationship.
4. Think about the fears you may have had before you got into the relationship.
5. Think about the things you felt before you got into the relationship.
6. What did the person make you feel about yourself?
7. What did they respond to within you?
8. What did you experience that you hadn’t experienced before?
9. Did you see yourself with the person before you met them?
10. Did you date someone out of your character?
Once you have identified the reasons for some of these questions, you’ll have the answers to help propel you to the next relationship. Sometimes, we keep carrying unnecessary burdens into new relationships. You possess the answers to all that you are feeling; you just have to look at the situation from a different angle. The answers are all within you. You can harm or heal yourself. Returning to the point of who you were before the relationship; puts you in a place of empowerment rather than psychological persecution. It’s within understanding the unhealthy relationships that we find ourselves and gets us closer to a healthy relationship.