Relationship Advice

Sometimes the idea of a relationship has more value to us than compatibility, equity in the relationship, or just plain happiness. The idea can create illusions that you’re in a  healthy realtionship because it is what we choose not to see.  Even though we might not be aware of it consciously, subconsciously we are compensating for the elements that are missing. So, it becomes a perfectly fine relationship.

Some people compensate with a dog, others with their computer, ice cream, etc. We all are trying to create balance and seeking happiness. Do we recognize how we are compensating? Not all of the time. We have to be made aware of it. The #1 person we lie to is ourselves. “S/He may not have X things that I would like, but it works for now.” “It’s okay that we don’t do X (the things that i enjoy), I’m happy to have companionship.” “It’s ok that he doesn’t want children, I wasn’t to sure about having them anyway.” Anything that you have desired for your lifestyle is what shouldn’t be deleted off your list. The ideal partner will compliment your goals, desires and assist in fulfilling your dreams together.

Ideas about people and relationships create illusions that distort our perception of reality.

53 thoughts on “Relationship Advice

  1. Lots of food for thought, as I’m fighting off the urge for some late night popcorn.
    Now I can see why I don’t have a long-term companion…I don’t have any long term goals!
    So thanks dumbass…let the popping begin…signed, smartass lol

    1. there are always levels…sounds like a computer game.
      As for long-term goals, that is more of a cultural issue isn’t it? For example, many cultures did fine living season-to-season and as such were much more in tune with their natural environment. I realize our mainstream culture doesn’t really do that. But then I think what you’re referring to here has more to do with relationships…I just can’t imagine putting that down in “goal-form” but then perhaps age is a factor; I’m 55 not thirty-something.

      1. Oh I didn’t mean for it to sound like a video game 🙂 I was thinking about the times that we are in denial of our self-deception!
        Season-to-season is also goal driven, dear Lawrence 🙂 The goal was survival, food, etc LOL Come to think of it some people approach their dating life like it is for their survival.

        But, I do understand it isn’t something you apply to relationships! Hope 2013 exceeds your expectations, Lawrence!!!!

  2. I like your site. Being that I am an energy worker, my focus has always been on getting what we want through the type of energy that we create, which is the law of attraction, in essence. If you find lots of things to complain about in potential relationships or in life in general, then you get back lots more things to complain about. Focus on the positives and life sends back more positive things.

    1. That is 100% true! We have been in a very enlightened phase in society where we are more receptive to looking at solutions from a metaphysical and kinetic standpoint. It’s really an amazing time.

      Thanks for sharing your insights and comments with us! I really appreciate it!

  3. Like the post. I’ll read some more soon. Seems as though we all have had that relationship which is just “good for now”. However, somebody should have told us not to waste the time. Oh well. Live and learn. Cheers!

    1. Thanks so much for your compliment and sharing your insights with us!

      I completely agree! How many times do you have to experience it to know that it’s not going to be healthy for you? For some it’s once, others it’s 5/6 times 😉

      Looking forward to getting more feedback from you soon! Thanks for visiting my site!

  4. Interesting observation – I like it. Of course nobody is perfect (except me of course) so we’ll always have to compromise what we want with what our partner can/will give. Understanding those aspects of us that feel unfulfilled also gives us the chance to investigate what those desires mean to us. Of course we can pursue them alone or with friends if we are that attached to them. Awareness is the key I guess, from there, we can better make decisions. 🙂

    1. Thanks so much for your insightful comments, Stuart! Absolutely, self-awareness is key to creating a better understanding of what are motivations are and why (and if) self-deception is occurring. Creating a decision balance that helps us weigh out compromises from a long and short range can come from realizing that self-deception is a short-term strategy. People want to find love and happiness but it should’t be at the expense of themselves or their happiness, right? 🙂

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  5. ther life, do what makes you happy.if you dont want to wear them, thats cool, but do you rlaely care about the shoes the lady in the bank line infront of you has on? does it rlaely matter? i think life is too short to rlaely spend any more time on this. :-)this isnt grade 5 where you get picked on for not fitting in!dont tell me what you dont like .what do you like?isnt choice and variety the spice of life?

    1. I agree with you, Nor. Life is about choice. When it comes to relationships, some people feel like they have to choose between one thing versus or at the expense of another. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

      1. I feel like it has come to that decision that its a choice for a person i fell in love with. That person that has done good and bad where i have to choose him over my family or friends that i thought were friends and learn to live it. If not it becomes a love and hate and so what should i do when nobody likes him…then people say its not about your family or friends that are spending time with him but you. It’s confusing….

        1. Carol, that is always complicated but, it is a decision you have to make and hope that you have support at the end of it. As long as the person makes you happy, eventually your family will see that he is worthy of you. They are experiencing the relationship through you and what you tell them and show them.

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