Sometimes the idea of a relationship has more value to us than compatibility, equity in the relationship, or just plain happiness. The idea can create illusions that you’re in a healthy realtionship because it is what we choose not to see. Even though we might not be aware of it consciously, subconsciously we are compensating for the elements that are missing. So, it becomes a perfectly fine relationship.
Some people compensate with a dog, others with their computer, ice cream, etc. We all are trying to create balance and seeking happiness. Do we recognize how we are compensating? Not all of the time. We have to be made aware of it. The #1 person we lie to is ourselves. “S/He may not have X things that I would like, but it works for now.” “It’s okay that we don’t do X (the things that i enjoy), I’m happy to have companionship.” “It’s ok that he doesn’t want children, I wasn’t to sure about having them anyway.” Anything that you have desired for your lifestyle is what shouldn’t be deleted off your list. The ideal partner will compliment your goals, desires and assist in fulfilling your dreams together.
Ideas about people and relationships create illusions that distort our perception of reality.