Most relationship failures are related to some unresolved pain caused by someone else that you may have repressed. Most of the time when we are dating we don’t realize that we’re learning more about ourselves. Unexpressed emotions are some of the keys that keep us from finding our ideal partner. However, most of us don’t deal with the source of what caused the pain in past failed relationships which sometimes creates patterns and cycles. Here are a few of the top unexpressed emotions that delay our happiness.
Insecurities are created from past experiences that could be from childhood, past relationships, former marriages, any life event that made you feel you were less than what you really are. You then took this definition and began designing yourself around it for years. When you compare yourself to others, you are already working from a deficit perspective and wonder why everyone else seems to get what they want, yet you don’t. The way people remedy that? By controlling factors in other’s lives that they can’t control for in their own lives. It’s easy to constantly look at someone else, talk about what they have and not create it in your own life.
Expectations=Underlying resentment
Resentment occurs because you expected one set of outcomes and go the opposite or worse than what you anticipated. Which is a function of life: things don’t always go the way we planned it or wanted it to be. How do some of us deal with life not turning out the way we want? By creating new expectations :). Expectations becomes a form of defense mechanism to prevent some from experiencing deep seated resentment when things and people fail them.
Anger=Misdirected expression
The expression of anger is usually due to a cumulative of life events that you experienced that you thought were unfair. Usually these past life events and its impact on the person span over decades: childhood trauma, abusive parents, sexual trauma, death of a parent, or disease. How do you resolve being treated unfairly? By treating others unfairly :). Instead of dealing with what caused the hurt, some find it easier to direct it towards others as a way to resolve their pain.
Codependency=Lack of support
In the case of codependency, the lack of support has to do with not having people around them that understands them. When they do meet someone that understands them and they can share their true selves with, that person becomes their new addiction. It’s created because people want to feel real connection. How do some deal with not cultivating the right people around them? By people pleasing the one’s that let you consistently not grow. People that are codependent usually seek validation, but they ascribe it to the wrong person.
What a wonderfully concise and insightful piece.
Thank you do much! So glad that you enjoyed it. Hope it serves you as we’ll.
Great article! Although it’s not the same topic, I just wrote about friendships and dating.
http://www.tylatimes.com/2013/04/03/girl-code-to-date-or-not-to-date
Thanks for the compliment & sharing your work! Will go check it out in a few.
You’re welcome, and thank you!
Of course! We have to support one another & share our work so that we can impact & serve those who need to read it.
I totally agree!
You’re kind of smart 😉
Thanks so much Robert! Really appreciate it!
Welcome! 🙂
Wonderful! Something that every person at any stage of their life must read. This thing about expressing emotions is I think a key thing to not only find a life partner but to also understand the person inside you.
Thanks so much for your fantastic insights Abhishek! I couldn’t agree with you more! I think once you have a better sense of who you are & what you need, your ideal partner comes shortly!
Food for thought for a lot of us looking to get back into the dating routine!
Always happy to hear that this was helpful to you!
http://clarkkent07.wordpress.com/2013/04/11/wordpress-family-award/ for you! 🙂
Am honored! Thank you dear friend! Love you!
awe shucks… (kicking dirt) wuv u 2!
well witten and explained 🙂
Thank you so much dashiellejin! Glad you enjoyed it!
http://iamforchange.wordpress.com/awards-page-and-nominations-thank-you-i-am-so-honored-and-grateful/ So many have shared so much with me and I wish to share as well please accept my nominations and if nothing else know I am grateful for your sharing on your pages with us all and the time you share with me on mine.Thank you!! 🙂 Joe
Wow! Thank you so much for this honor! Congratulations on all of your awards! So well-deserved! xoxo
Reblogged this on In Feneba's eyes.
Thanks for sharing my work and for your endless support!!! xoxoxo
Reblogged this on emotionless brain.
Thanks so much for sharing my work emotionless brain! I am flattered and honored!
Wow! I wrote an article (not sure if it’s posted here) called “A Spiritual Love” I start it out by saying, “WE MUST TREAT PEOPLE LIKE WE WANT TO BE TREATED AND NOT LIKE WE’VE BEEN MISTREATED” You can’t start a new car with a key from your old car. Feel free to use any of those lines. LOL Great post.
Thanks so much for the material 🙂 It’s brilliant!!!! Post the link. We all want to read it!
I think shame is the hardest emotion for men to talk about. It’s #1 on my list
I really want to talk to you about this blog personally. When you have a chance please let me know.
Absolutely! Thanks for your message! You can reach me @ the blog address/about section email! Looking forward to hearing from you!
I agree! In American society, men are conditioned to repress their emotions. Thanks, again, for sharing your insights!
Reblogged this on Finding The Will To Live and commented:
Such a great Topic of Discussion.
Thanks for sharing my article FTW2L!!! I really appreciate it!
Reblogged this on And After the Storm and commented:
Interesting psychology… not even for the dating portion. Think about this with all your relationships!
Thank you so much for sharing my work!!! I am flattered and excited that you found it helpful!
sure! it’s excellent!
Thanks so much! I really appreciate it!
Reblogged this on Vincent Egoro.
Thanks so much for sharing my post Vincent! I really appreciate it!!!
Thanks so much for sharing my work! I really appreciate it, girl!
Thanks so much for sharing my work, David!!! I really appreciate it!!!
Thank you so much MadeleineMaya for sharing my article!!! I really appreciate it! So glad you found it helpful!