People are attracted to what resonates with them. Online dating is no different. We are treating online dating as we do social media streams; the shiniest object is what grabs our attention. So, when we review profiles we are trying to get a better sense of who you are and what you say you are. If you start with a list of things you don’t want, that’s what you’re going to get.
What men say: Not looking for a gold digger.
You come off as someone who doesn’t want to build a relationship/partnership. Why? Because you’re letting past relationships control your future relationships.
What women read: You got divorced and lost your shit. Does that mean you won’t be able to be in a dual income partnership? Are you blaming your life choices on someone else’s spending pattern? Are you unable to recognize someone that isn’t materialistic?
What men say: Drama queens need not apply. If you have an ex that is a FWB, don’t bother to contact me. If you have baby mama drama, don’t contact me.
Are you hoping to filter out drama queens by telling them not to contact you? Drama queens don’t exist if they don’t have an audience. You just set up a stage for them 🙂
What women read: Your mailbox will be flooded with “F you just because I have a kid doesn’t mean I have drama.” Or “F you just because I have a past that you don’t understand, that doesn’t make me a drama queen.”
What men say: Don’t contact me if you’re not comfortable sexually.
Telling women they shouldn’t have standards, might not get you what you want.Leave the seduction for face-to-face.
What women read: That begs the question: “wtf is he into?” “F you because I’m not into casual sex/hookups/booty calls whenever you want sex, isn’t going to get you either a hookup or LTR.” Or “who the f are you to start with sex on your profile when you claim to be looking for something substantial.”
It amazes me that anybody things putting negativity in a dating profile is a good idea. When I was dating, I saw women’s profiles that basically railed against all male kind because of an ex. That is never going to encourage any man to message you.
The “no drama” one always made me laugh. Trying passing 25 and not having had any life drama. You might if you’d lived under a rock all your life.
It amazes me, too, CUCH! Those men are sending dumbass signals to the women they want to meet! But, the funny thing is when men complain that they don’t get “real” women answering them back!
Why women would rant about what they hated about their ex so that new versions of that ex responds, is baffling to me. The best part is how often women will reference their exes on dates, too.
LOL >25! Couldn’t agree with you more. I have to create a program that helps people hone in on deciphering better what they want vs need.
I have a new product to sell. Should I release this advert? Will it work?
“New piece of technology to make your life easier.
You won’t buy this because you’re all cheapskates. You’d rather buy branded items from my competitors because you’re slaves to labels. Mine is better but you won’t care. I demand you prove me wrong by buying this. Oh and by the way, I hate you, you money grabbing lot.”
There, that will make people buy what I’m selling 🙂
Great point! Unfortunately, sometimes quantity does matter over quality in people’s online search.
Here a test to take on men post a photo of a pretty woman
( like yourself even ) but make sure the photo shows a womans butt and breast and most of all a good shot of your face and eyes then have a guy stare at the picture for 10 seconds straight then tell him to close them and discribe the woman to you a guy just might say the color of hee blouse and large boobs and ass
But a real man will discribe her face her smile the color of hwr hair whether long or short straight or a perm but most of all he will tell you the color of her eyes blue green black or the two shades of brown whether solid or a glass brown ( it just that like looking through a piece of.glass ) a real man would discribe her facial features sure you got nice breast and a cute ass
But people age bodies change with time but to me a woman eyes never change from the day she born till the last breathe she takes her eyes never change that what made me fall head over heals in love with my wife from tbat first moment i.saw her face and those brown eyes as we made eye contact my heart skipped a beat and thank god there was a chair right there because my knees went weak i fell in love with her as she smiled at me a.d said hello and to this day after so many years i can close my eyes right now and i see those beautiful brown eyes and pretty smile it reminds me of why i fell in love with her and it took almost an hour later after talking to he ii realized she had a smoking hot body but she could have been 300 lbs it would not have mattered to me.
So you can give me shit or agree with me and try that out that what i like about you you say how you feel your proud of who you are and what you done in life and i respect that in a woman plus a person can be fit or over weight race or color dont matter here it the person how they carry themself and dress their appearance matters a guy wants long hair keep it clean and.combed a woman over weight i thwre aome beautiful ladies out there in heels and a dress sexy as hell but dont wear sweat pants and and sweat shirts. Then bitch at the fucking world cause people say shit a out you
One last thing i love the hell out of watching that windy williams show she funny as hell but tell me is she a woman. Or a man in drag. It driving me crazy i mean on the weekends she could be a line backer for th new york giants and windy doing her shows on the week days anyway thank you and go easy pn me please if you disagree with my photo test on guys
Thanks Douglas for sharing your insights and suggestion. Several studies have shown both sides to your suggestion. that some men look at facial features more than body first, and there are those that focus on favorite body parts first.
At the end of the day, I agree with
Once you are ready for a committed relationship that is of substance and about true happiness, you realize the rest is all bullshit. Age makes faces and bodies change. Character, how the person enhances you and makes you a better person, and the life you create together is what matters. I love what you said about eyes! That is the truth!
Thanks again for the insights, compliment, and your honesty. I really appreciate it. If I do get a chance to run this type of study, you’ll be the first to be contacted!
why are you speaking my life?????? (i literally have a post about online dating profiles in my drafts). LOL
LOL Can’t wait to read it! Oh, I have more comedy coming 🙂
Lolll. High fives!!!
thanks 🙂 am checking out your blog now and it is awesome!
thank you so much!!! lol. this is getting a little lovey dovey isn’t it. 😉
🙂 started following your blog 🙂 next, i cyberstalk you 🙂 LOL
Lmfao. Me tooooooo
Love this post Clarissa. I have to say, for guys who actually post something like that, well, THEY’RE JUST A DUMBASS!
Thanks so much Chinahand11! I really appreciate it!
LMAO aaand that’s why i started my blog. Long line of dumbasses, girl! Long line 🙂
Be honest about the basics such as your age, and if you have kids. But you must not feel that you have to share your whole life story straightaway – conversing about your last breakup or your relationship with your family are personal and can wait until you’re serious about the person.
Thanks so much for sharing your insights, Adrian! Couldn’t agree with you more, Adrian! Perhaps we’ve become so digital that we often forget basic human interaction 🙂 Happy New Year to you!
Good stuff
thanks so much! i really appreciate your feedback!
so funny but true. I met my husband online and i’ll be honest i didn’t believe it was his picture till i met him.
lol! I think we all get anxiety when we first meet them. Either we are expecting jabba the hut, a 20 year older version of that photo, or an imposter altogether. Congrats on a success story! What site did you meet on?
its an old one not really a dating site it was called upoc dont even think its around anymore
nice! yeah most dating sites get acquired by other groups because new customers and traffic is difficult for some. but, what matters is that it got you what you need 🙂
really loving your blog! keep up the great work!