Dealing with a break-up, separation or divorce is often difficult. Here are a few things that can help you cope with the break-up, separation or divorce.
1. Try to refrain from highlighting negative things about your ex. Simply because it disrespects you. Afterall, you were in the relationship with the person. When you re-tell events or character flaws, the person listening will wonder why you were in the relationship to begin with. Utilize your discussions to be about rebuilding yourself and not diminishing the other person because that doesn’t improve your sense of self. It may feel good in the short-term, but not long-term.
2. Cultivate a network of support that has diverse perspectives. That way you will have different outlets to express the range of your emotions. Especially when dealing with divorce where you can experience anger, resentment, and loss all in the same breath.
3. Forgive yourself. The only thing you did was try to show someone love and cultivate a life for you both. Allow yourself to feel the pain and unburden yourself of what was your former life. All you did was demonstrate that you have the capacity to love and build a life for yourself. You can do it again.
Thanks to a great relationship wellness panel discussion by The Law Firm of Wisselman, Harounian & Associates, P.C.
First, I’d like to thank all of my followers and readers. I am extremely grateful for your support. Many of you I have cried, laughed, cheered, and ranted with. Most of all I feel like we have gotten to a better place together.
When you are not in a relationship, getting over a relationship/divorce, the holidays can be a challenging time of the year. Each relationship we go through really teaches us about what we need or what we needed to overcome to set you up for a healthy relationship. If you’re currently struggling to get over a relationship, there are a few things you can think about to help overcome some of the pain associated with the break-up.
1. Think about the things that lead you to that relationship in the first place.
2. Think about the things that attracted you to the person.
3. Think about what you were looking for before you got into the relationship.
4. Think about the fears you may have had before you got into the relationship.
5. Think about the things you felt before you got into the relationship.
6. What did the person make you feel about yourself?
7. What did they respond to within you?
8. What did you experience that you hadn’t experienced before?
9. Did you see yourself with the person before you met them?
10. Did you date someone out of your character?
Once you have identified the reasons for some of these questions, you’ll have the answers to help propel you to the next relationship. Sometimes, we keep carrying unnecessary burdens into new relationships. You possess the answers to all that you are feeling; you just have to look at the situation from a different angle. The answers are all within you. You can harm or heal yourself. Returning to the point of who you were before the relationship; puts you in a place of empowerment rather than psychological persecution. It’s within understanding the unhealthy relationships that we find ourselves and gets us closer to a healthy relationship.