it IS all about ego!

I think that men are more strategic than women when it comes to dating. Here’s why: they have spent their dating lives figuring out what methods work and how to preserve their ego from rejection. mancalcultgThey are better at calculating risk and measuring volatility when it comes to ego preservation. What puts them at an advantage is that they have approached many women to figure out their method. I think they keep all of this information in some sort of spreadsheet like sports stats and go out with these mental stats ready.

Ladies, let’s try to adopt some of their method. Not the approaching people part, but the preservation of ego part. Whether you are dating online, in public or a combination of both; there is nothing more frustrating than being out with someone that you would rather be spending time curled up on your coach in your bunny slippers watching paint dry.

Begin sorting men in categories that are more aligned with what your immediate needs are. Let’s say you’re interested in going out briefly because you are bored of your routine. You’re just interested in not being bored. The people that approach you that night really have the value of entertaining and relieving you of your boredom. They may or may not be what you would want to date, but it serves the purpose of socializing and feeding your ego. When you are less guarded and have no extreme expectations is when you are more yourself. Additionally, when you get your needs met, you are able to go into the next situation less stressed. While you are out, if you encounter people you wouldn’t want to date, engage them with questions that you would really like to get answers to about men. Ask general stuff, but try to avoid relationship based stuff. In case the guy is interested in you, he may give you the “you should be with me”-type answers. Men are very good at telling women all about their gender. Let’s call this category: bored. Score that based on how much your ego was satisfied that you got out of it what you needed.

Let’s say it’s girls night out. You all got dolled up, coordinated your schedules, and are ready to have fun. The purpose of the night is to have fun and catch up. Men approach each one of you throughout the course of the night. Not unusual. Men don’t necessarily pick up on cues that women give off, they see a few girls assembled and think touchdown! This time when men that are not dating material approach one of you, one of you should ask him what he thinks would keep your friend happy. Do that all night long. Collect data and compare notes. Score that based on the responses the men give you. Let’s call this category: comedy night.

The next time you go out, try these methods out. These 2 senarios are really only 1 night out each time, but it will help you out for the next time you go out and meet new people. You won’t feel so overburdened by false expectations, frustrated with meeting the same types of guys, or the stress of not meeting the type of guy that you’d like to date. In both scenarios you really gained insights into the type of man you’d like to be with and you got to assert your ego into scenarios that generally are male ego dominated. Normally, you are listening to them talk about themselves and what they want and how you’d be crazy not to pick them. Try it & let me know how it goes.

27 thoughts on “it IS all about ego!

    1. Yes! With the added benefit of learning about who you really want from a guy that you didn’t have to date to figure out you didn’t want. It’s so much more efficient than going on dates and learning that you would’ve been better off staying home. Those dates diminishes my sense of self. 🙂

          1. If you go out…all those are more of a possibility than not. So the point is to go out and just have fun. If the rest follows…cool but I like the option of treating it as some anthropological experiment.
            Having a sense of humor about human relations and non-relations is always key!

  1. Ok Men… just so you know you should be able to see this a mile away… This is an opportunity to connect. Because the one who redirects is one who can give you more information about those at the table. You see we are all creatures of habit and will be talking about things that we will find at the table to discuss, in other words take the question and run with the most outlandish response you can come up with. Women will discuss the questions at the table and those questions will be directed at you depending on who you approach they will elect another’s question so the one who has the most intriguing thing to ask at the table all the women will follow. This can surely be deflected in an answer that tells you if anyone is interested in knowing who you are and why you are. We were not born with this information nor do we pick it up based on what we learn about women.

    Woman:Why would a man come up to a table full of women?
    Man: If we never made the first move how are we never going to meet anyone?

    Just saying: sometimes it is not what you say it is how you say it! If your ego is big expect some painful walking away you just made a ass of yourself march. If not get into the conversation as sometimes it takes the ability to meet the right person at the right time! To learn more about what you show a woman!

    This opened a can of worms but I know the heart of the woman that posted this. She has deep love and deep meaning. It takes a strong person with a very big heart to know what she is pointing to! 🙂

  2. Ladies, let’s try to adopt some of their method. Not the approaching people part,

    Why not? Nothing wrong with you approaching guys you are attracted to. Bearing in mind that we discussed on a previous post the very low response rate the average man gets on a dating site and most of these women are complaining they never get messages from the sort of men they like. The mountain won’t go to Mohammed, your dream job is not going to fall into your lap and neither is your dream man. So why don’t you make the approaches?

    We have learnt the art of ego-preservation and I agree that women should now take that opportunity. In the end, we will all (men and women) get the relationships we desire and deserve.

    I think you’ve given me something to think about for the weekend. Expect a blog post to follow on this subject 🙂

    1. You make some valid points. I love it! I’m not discouraging women from approaching men. Women approach men, too. We just do it differently.

      A job is not gonna fall in your lap why would a man! Lol I love it! The trend may change, but I don’t want to suggest something that wouldn’t be realistic for the majority.

      Oh, btw it backfires in our faces. Men don’t appreciate it in the long run & assume sexual relationship first.

      Can’t wait for your post! So glad that my work inspires you! What are you thinking of calling it? I liked the spin off title last time.

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