Why women should be more like men

Ladies, we have to be more like men. Let me tell you why. I’m commuting to work, minding my own business and trying to get some work done. When all of a sudden a random guy sits next to me & starts chatting me up. I tried to be as polite as I could be as he started telling me his whole career life story, so I buried my head in my work. I didn’t really want to get caught up in someone’s issues of self-importance.

He didn’t pick up on any of my social cues or didn’t care, so I continued to not give him any eye contact while he kept talking :) Occasionally, he would stop talking and I thought he would stop. No, meant nothing to him. He kept on new topics :) Finally, his stop comes up and he’s getting off the train. And that’s where the real comedy starts! He extends out a piece of paper and says to me “I’d like to give you my number because you are the type of person that I’d like to take on a date.” WTF?!?! How the fuck did you ascertain that? Wow! Unbelievable! 

“No, thanks I’m seeing somebody.”

“Oh that doesn’t matter to me!” Now, that answer made sense because he didn’t care that he was talking to himself for the entire ride! 

“Yet, it matters to me!”

Let me give you an even more ridiculous story. I’m at the supermarket checkout counter when a random guy all disheveled with a smell on him that I couldn’t even determine and is adjusting the front of his pants at his belt buckle.

Hermes0524

Right-the kind of guy your mom tells you to marry :) He turns to me and says “Hi! How are you?” with his shirt tail tucked out and this weird smell! I say the obligatory don’t-want-you-to-become-mental-on-me-if-I-don’t-acknowledge-you “Good, you?” He turns to me throws his suit jacket over his shoulder and says “Better for seeing you!!!! Again, wtf?!?!

So, I told you these stories to tell you this: what would happen if women acted more like men. Of course I gave you the most extreme cases (I just wanted to share the comedy), but at the end of the day men pursue what they want. They don’t say to themselves: I’m not pretty enough, I’m not at the sexiest at the moment, I put on some weight, or whatever else that would stop them from trying to get what they want.

Flirt, start up chit chat, give someone eye signals across the room or have a wing person that will engage the person for you. Chatty Kathy and Stinky try this same method till someone takes the bait. Don’t let Chatty Kathy and Stinky think that it works :)

164 comments

    1. OMG – and I thought I was the only one with comedic stories. Why oh why does this happen. I get the strangest of men that speak to me. I wonder sometimes if the Universe is playing a never ending joke on me. Yesterday, leaving work and walking to the train, there’s a girl in front of me. Nice ass, clearly every man that she passed couldn’t stop staring at her. WTF? She must be gorgeous behind that full head of brunette hair. As I sped up to see her face, I was floored. I’m the first one to compliment beauty but this was far from being complimentary. She was hideous and I’m not sure if men were checking her out or thinking what I was thinking. Not only that but she had the nastiest scowl. Maybe men like mean, ugly women. I’m not sure. The jury still out in this one. LOL Thx again for the laughs.

      1. Omg! Your story is awful! I was hoping I was going to hear comedy! Calling a women butt ugly doesn’t relate to my stories of oblivious men ;)

        Perception is subjective. I would venture to say that maybe she was scowling at all the gawking & not enough good prospects ;) What? Did you think she was working it to not have pick of the litter? ;)

        I’m glad I made you laugh! Thanks for sharing your story with us! I’m glad I’m not alone with the ridiculous shit happening to them!

        1. LMAO I’m not sure about the scowl part it could have been that BUT I will compliment her butt, it was in tip top shape. :-) (I need a butt like that). – I may have failed in relaying my point. Why would a man want a woman who seems remotely miserable and then women who are happy (like us) can’t attract that same man, instead we get scraps…. #why?

          1. Ahhh! I think we all have the same chances at finding what we want. Perception is a funny thing. Sometimes we overlook people, don’t even notice others, but highlight some? I think it’s about what we say we are looking for, what we think we want, and our ability to recognize it when we come across it.

            In the past, I always wondered why some men would obnoxiously stare at me, while others would cut away. For some reason I would focus on the ones that were overt & not the ones who cut away. When I realized that the common denominator was that I was getting looks. I was focusing on how I don’t get the right types checking me out, but it was who I decided to form my theory around.

            So, the short of it is: they ARE looking at you, both sets, it’s about who we pay attention to in our minds.

            The scraps are the more obnoxious ones, they had to develop that persona to get what they want :) We notice them because they are trying desperately to be noticed :) It’s the dude behind him that you want :)

            1. LMAO I’m laughing over here at my desk! So true…OMG! I never thought of it that way. Live and learn. Many thanks for the insight. I love reading other people’s take on relationship, dating, rejection, etc.

              1. Glad I can make you look like a crazy person @ your office :)

                So glad that you find it helpful! You made my day! Trying to make behavioral science sexy isn’t easy :)

                The funny thing is that I thought men where gonna be bashing me for highlighting 2 ridiculous attempts, but so far nope :)

                We have to read Matt’s http://thoughtsofawalian.wordpress.com/ response to my post when he has it up :)

                Enjoy your day! Thanks again for your support!

      1. I can’t agree with you more, girl! After years of practice, I felt that this was the most tangible thing to do. But recently, Sandberg’s book and her Lean in movement, made women want to seek out more from their lives. While her book focus on career why not apply the principles to all areas of life? :)

        Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your insights with us! Love your blog’s name!!!!

  1. This is so funny and true! I used to get mad at those I call beta males reaching too high above their social status. But these days I smile because one has to admire such guts to go for what you want regardless. thanks for the comic relief. And thanks for stopping by my blog.

    1. LOL I love it Beta males!!!! I still get annoyed by their silly tactics, but I deal with all these beautiful women who don’t go after the guy they want AND they take showers!!! :)

      Glad you enjoyed it as much I enjoyed your blog :)

  2. I forget which comedian said it, but one of them said, ‘Guys don’t have the same hangups as women. A short, overweight, balding guy with a small penis still goes home and looks in the mirror and says, “Oh yeah, I still got it.” We could never hold our own with that. But on a different note, here’s my number, I think we could be perfect together. OICU812. ;) Thanks for the post; it was a pleasant way to end the day.

  3. Men are taught to be assertive while women are brought up to always be polite, don’t be assertive or you’ll be seen as a bossy bitch. Then women end up, for the most part, turning to passive aggression. Instead, let’s not be more like men, and raise women to be assertive, to go for what we want, and to know it’ll be bullshit when men try to bring us down for it.

    Also, let’s acknowledge that cornering women on the bus and shit while they’re, I dont know, going to work for example, and telling them they wanna take them out on a date regardless of their status, is basically harrassment. Like can I not go anywhere without being subjected into an unwanted conversation with some entitled dude who thinks I am obligated to have a conversation with him?

    1. Thanks for your insightful comments Ramona! Yes you are absolutely right everything we are told is the opposite of how it really is. It is harassment or unwanted earfucking. But, I am not suggesting that women become assholes to get what they want. :) Just that they identify what they want and pursue it. I agree that women are given the wrong messages, apply it to their lives, then are criticized for it.

      I want this post to serve 2 purposes: women to get what they want out of life and relationships & to highlight the ridiculousness of the male ego. Essentially, combating both stereotypes :)

      1. Earfucking! I love that word. I’ve struggled for years with how to reply to people doing this to me, and I’ve always been so polite and end up feeling so awkward. You can never win with those stinky types of guys, if they’re so arrogant that they don’t even realise how appalling they are, anything you say will just slide right off them. Did you take the address from the first guy, or tell him where to go?

        1. It really is a fine line: being polite, but not inviting! The other layer to this is I’m a native nyer & in nyc, so I have no issues with telling people where to go;) My problem is how often I do it;)

          I didn’t take his info I told him off nicely. ;) lol

          I think these types are aware of how they come off, they don’t care. Some men use intelligence, others use arrogance & boredom. They think it’s charming :)

          1. Actually I think quite a lot are charmless gits, who don’t think at all. Your post has reminded me of the best put down I ever heard, which I’m going to post tomorrow. Thanks for the inspiration. I’ll link it to you.

  4. nice post. Though the examples are ridiculous, the idea is something I’ve been saying for years. Women need to go after what they want. I would like to see women approaching men who they are attracted to more rather than staying out there trying to attract them from way out there.

    1. You are my new BFF Petersburgh!;) Thanks for sharing your insightful comments with us & support!

      I think there are many changes in society that’s shifting gender roles for both men & women. Getting what we want will be universal & maybe a universal approach!

  5. This was hilarious. Now those guys had no perception filters to be able to tell that you were giving them the brush off. Your serious point is taken though – go after that guy you like in the supermarket. We’re not mind readers! Nor will we feel our masculinity is being challenged if you approach us (in secret, we love it when you do). Plus, rejection is good character building experience. You put us through it, now it’s time for you to share in the delights of rejection :p

    Great article!

    1. Thanks so much for your insightful response CUCH! Yes, the examples were extreme, but this is the balls of some men! I think chatty Kathy knew that he was out of bounds, but he didn’t care!

      I do want for women to get what they want. I do want them to pursue what they want with any method they feel comfortable. Good to know that men secretly like the attention. But because I think women don’t realize how much of the power she possesses! I am gonna write a follow-up article.

      As far as rejection, women deal with it in a different way. Some don’t get the guy she’s wanted, others date down and have a bad relationship, etc. It’s all the same really; still cuts like a knife!

      Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments!

      1. Any man who says he doesn’t want to be pursued is either a liar or has pretty screwed up ideas. That’s not to say that that attention is always welcome, because we too get followed by oddballs!

        1. So true! We either complain about not getting attention or getting the wrong attention! But I hold firm on it’s about perception.

          Oh I know! I have women constantly chase men who are completely wrong for them and become “bat shit” crazy and wonder why they are perceived as bat shit crazy/oddballs.

          You perceive what you want to perceive. If you construct this idea of a person, that’s what you will see. You will discount all of the red flags.

          1. You will discount all of the red flags.

            Bingo. Been guilty of it myself. Don’t intend to make that mistake again though.

  6. Well done. I tend to think the scenarios you describe are just an extension of the “you’d be a whole lot prettier if you would smile” assertion that men love to bestow on the woman of their choosing. As if I aspire to being prettier? Someday I will tell that guy that he would be a lot prettier if you would S.T.F.U.

    1. OMG!!! LMAO!!! Oh how I wish I could talk with no filter sometimes, too!!!! :) My problem is that no one would read it/it would be flagged for just using a few non-curse words every now & then :)

      Thanks so much for your insightful comments and kind words! I really appreciate it!

  7. ha ha, well, I would love to do something like that. On a bus talk about myself and hand out a piece of paper with my number then say, “here, you’re the type of man who could use a pscho b***h!” tee hee

          1. hahhahaha. i know there’s a site where you can get fake numbers. I used it couple of years ago. my niece gave me the website and for a year while in the dating scene, I would give out numbers to blind dates set up by friends or those who would ask for it. I don’t get offended by fresh guys, I make their day, usually. hilarious.

            1. Let me tell you how there is a site that has people’s exes on it with warning messages!!!!

              I forget the number, but there is a # that redirects you to a recording and telling you that you didn’t get the right # for one of the following reasons!!! It was hilarious!

    1. Yes, men should try to be more like women sometimes, by being more empathetic, and listening better. ladies, look for a cancer man if you want an intuitive, caring lover…we understand you…great blog, btw…

      1. You are so right! You should write a blog post about it! :) Thanks for letting us know and giving yourself the back handed compliment. I totally agree with you it takes a a specific blend for relationships to work out long term.

        Thanks so much for the compliment! I really appreciate it!

          1. I think men need more inspirational role models and strong men to provide the framework. As technology advances and the world rapidly evolves, love is still constant. Yet, we still use eh same methods to get what we want.

            Thank you for stopping by and sharing your insight & wisdom with us :)

  8. I like your post because I think that our lives need much more humor. We tend to take dating too seriously. Take for example an incident that happened to one of my friends. She was waiting for him at the entrance of a park facing a parking lot. When she saw a truck pull up and the guy inside she said to herself OMG I hope it’s not him! He was still in the truck and their eyes met. He never got out of the truck, simply backed up his tires screeching on the asphalt. How rude, she thought and then walked into the park and began to laugh. Not a loud, neurotic laugh. What was so funny about being dumped? She had no idea. But she wasn’t going to let one asshole ruin her walk in the park. She had been spared a stressful walk with a date she knew she’d be counting the minutes before it ended.

  9. This is brilliant. Seriously. Then again, I’ve always wanted some dude to use a cheesy pick-up line on me just to see how I’d react, and if he could play it off well. But come on! Guys refuse to take a hint sometimes. Hardy har har “It doesn’t matter to me if you’re seeing someone already.”

  10. I am not sure if your stories are more comical or scary. To think that the men in your stories belong to the male population is scary. The fact that they are so clueless is comical. I like the advice that you are advocating to women. I think both men and women find self confidence attractive. From a guy’s perspective, please don’t stop showering, smelling nice, and looking your best. Attitude is important but our other senses are important for attraction. I actually appreciate the effort that most women put into their appearance. Everything is usually perfectly coordinated from the dress/outfit, jewelry, shoes, and purse. In general, most men don’t put that kind of effort into their appearance. One of the many differences between men and women that I find attractive.

    Personally, I enjoy the subtle signals of interest that many women convey. I love the subtle eye contact, the strategic body positioning to check a guy out, the accidental bumping into a guy, or strategic exposure of more skin. Granted when a woman approaches us, it makes things easier for us. I love women who approach me by harassing me or making fun of me in a silly way. On the other hand, I love being a guy and actually approaching a woman. Of course, only after I have been invited via body language.

    So the guy on the train who was talking to you, did he ever ask you any questions to learn about you? If he didn’t, apparently your appearance was enough for him to decide that he wanted to date you.

    1. Oh Christopher! Yeah, unfortunately, these stories are the more extreme cases; but they happen. Ughh!

      Yes the key difference between men and women is that women give off subtle behavioral cues to those they are attracted to. Women initiate the contact, men take it from there.

      Oh yeah, he did ask a question about me: are you a writer? Then it was I am an accomplished writer, I, I, I, snoooooze. I felt like he was using an online approach in person :) He reacted to an image, then started a long thread about how he’s great :)

  11. Personally, I like a guy to come up to ME (shows they’re willing to make the effort), but there IS something to be said for having more confidence! More women SHOULD have the confidence to make eye contact and smile at the guy they want, then hopefully he’ll have the balls to approach her. My problem(along with most of my friends) is that it’s always the guys we DON’T want to approach us, that DO. Ugh. Maybe someone can explain THAT to me… lol P.S. Great post! And thanks for liking Set UP or Let Down. :)

    1. Thanks so much for sharing your insightful comments! Yes, girl! We initiate the contact, then men should take it from there! Hopefully, we will inspire more women to initiate more :)

      Beta males, girl, beta males. That’s what Briliant blogger: http://ewurabasempe.wordpress.com/ calls them and says the same thing we all do!

      ewurabasempe says:
      September 24, 2013 at 10:46 pm
      This is so funny and true! I used to get mad at those I call beta males reaching too high above their social status. But these days I smile because one has to admire such guts to go for what you want regardless. thanks for the comic relief. And thanks for stopping by my blog.

      Thanks so much for starting a great conversation! Glad you enjoyed my post as much as i enjoyed yours!

  12. Good advice! I’ve been divorced now for 2-years (after 28-years of marriage) and I don’t even bother trying to flirt with women anymore. I realized after going back out looking for a date, that if a woman in the grocery store, on the train, in the post office or out in the street likes you, she’s going to let you know about it real fast. If you’re too stupid or uneducated to pick up on it, oh well…better luck next time.

    Funny blog! Thanks for stopping by mine!

      1. That didn’t come out right. What I meant was that I don’t flirt with EVERY woman I see. Believe me, there is one in the grocery store by me I’m working on. The problem is everytime I get up to her counter she’s swamped with customers behind me, and I don’t have time to stand in there all day and wait for her line to empty out. I do get the “hand rubbing through the hair” routine every time she sees me and the few questions about where I work, blah…blah…blah. I think the next old lady behind me is just going to have to wait while I ask her for her phone number. :)

  13. The dude who swung his jacket over his shoulder, though. Major sideeye.

    Thanks for liking my post! Skimmed a couple of your posts…you’re hilarious and such a good writer! You have a new follower :)

  14. Great blog! I love the point about what we choose to focus on. Also, when my dating and relationship coaching clients complain that only random ‘loser’ guys hit on them and desirable guys don’t, I say, ‘Exactly! Only a dork with no self-awareness would have the nerve to hit on you, while the great guys probably feel a bit shy around you because you’re so fabulous.’ Stop complaining about it, and do something about it. When you see Mr. Gorgeous//Marry Me Now, send those signals! Let him know it’s ok to approach. Smile, make eye contact, slow down and linger. When Gorgeous is encouraged to approach, he often does. Keep up the good work, Clarissa, and happy dating! :)

    1. Thanks so much Kat!!! I really appreciate your support and kind words!!

      YES GIRL!!!! Exactly!!! How many times do we get pissed off that the beta males are the ones that come up to us. Then we go and think that it’s a pattern we have and then our self-esteem is lowered!!! We have to realize that we are the ones that initiate the whole relationship. We simply have to have the alpha males realize that we want to be approached by him.

      Thanks so much for being my cheerleader Kat! Have a great one!

  15. Love this story! I am always telling my friends to smile more and he will come over. I use the example of pictures on social networking. If you are smiling on those pictures or posting sexy face pictures then you should look like that all of the time. We are our walking facebook, blog, IG, twitter, etc profile picture.
    Thanks for my first like!

  16. I keep having this conversation with female clients, suggesting they send signals to get a guy to approach. What I often hear is, “But they’re the guys – they’re supposed to do the work.” Really?? Ever try to approach a woman, even in a nice, respectful way, and get totally blown off and made to feel like a substandard human being? No wonder so many good guys don’t have the courage to approach. If more women would take the time to see things from the guy’s perspective, they might change their m.o. and meet him halfway.

    1. I completely agree Kat! I think women forget how much of this is within our control. Men won’t come up to us if we don’t invite it, they wouldn’t have sex of we didn’t want to with them.

      What is the best analogy you find to be effective?

      1. It’s somewhat similar to the interaction between a server and a restaurant customer. After initially serving a person, the server will return when/if they think the person wants them to. (of course, some servers – and guys – are proactive enough to approach whether or not they’re cued, but we know that’s not always the best approach) The server will watch the table, looking for signals. If the customer makes eye contact and raises their head and eyebrows a bit, the server will come by. (the customer might also wave or gesture, but few women do that, so let’s stick to the subtle signals. lol) If not, the server thinks they’re happy being left alone. So unless they’re dealing with the most confident of guys, (alphas) if women don’t send nonverbal signals, they’ll be left holding an empty wine glass and wondering why the gal across the room is getting all the top-ups. ;-)

        1. Thanks so much sharing this brilliant analogy, Kat! Women always think that we are telling them to hit on men. It is the subtle cues that gets the whole process going!! I hope this gets more women to began changing their dating patterns!

          Thanks so much for sharing your insights with us!!! Have a great weekend!!!

  17. I really agree with this! I remember reading something a while ago about women shutting men down over and over and them not actually getting the hint until the girl said she was dating someone/had a husband/boyfriend/partner etc. Why is it acceptable for a man to accept another man’s “property” and not a woman’s wishes! It’s so frustrating that we have to tell men we “belong” to another to get them to leave us alone. Apart from in your case where you get responses like ‘that doesn’t matter to me’ it’s just so disrespectful really. I haven’t had anyone physically trying to hit on me but I have had random guys trying to send me penis pictures, the only way I’ve got them to stop or not send is by saying I’m unavailable when I just really don’t want to look at anymore penis pictures haha. Really great read, and pretty darn true! :)

    1. Lmao Kat!!!!

      You’re so right! It’s so frustrating to deal with both scenarios! What gets me is that we flirt more with shoes than we do men!

      I think that women’s ability to assert themselves is becoming more the norm. Hoping that we can change that in all aspects of our lives.

      Trying to minimize how many dick pix we get:)

  18. Omg! It is only 6:12 in the morning and I’m already stupidly awake for some reason and stumbled upon this! I know that my neighbor is passed because I am laying here cracking up laughing!!!! Pwahahaha! Love it! So genuine!

  19. At the end of the day, I kinda admire these guys although their methods weren’t exactly great.

    I’m a shy person and incredibly useless at breaking the ice with people. It definitely makes it worse when you see any attractive person and she gives you that “fuck off look” as soon as you say “hello”.

    I guess, when you approach someone, it takes a lot of balls. Going around indiscriminately or making cheesy comments isn’t the best or is chatting someone up on the tube but kudos to them for even having the guts to approach a girl they fancied.

    1. I absolutely agree! They pursued what they were interested in. In all honesty, these guys are calculating their probability and just trying to find a response. I mean they are just going based on a look, not on characteristics. What makes them less desirable than the more discerning guy, is that they aren’t subtle about their desperate tactics. He’s already making himself un-date-worthy by his approach.

      I have to say this about being a women in a urban city, you are constantly subject to someone’s outward expression of what they think of you :) By the time the day is done, we all have go f yourself look on our faces! I’m in NYC BTW :) lol

      1. Ah you see, I live in England and I think that is pretty much the standard look on ladies faces.

        I hear what you are saying too. I think sometimes it’s hard to be discerning sometimes though as first impressions are often heavily biased on superficiality. I consider myself, for example, to be a discerning chap but if I see a really pretty girl and I only have a limited time frame, it’s sometimes hard to get out in 5 minutes that:

        A) I think you are really pretty, and
        B) I would love to have the opportunity to get to know you better.

        Put it this way ( I’m not sure if you follow or read my blog), but I’m a virgin and I wouldn’t just pass that up on a girl who is ” just good looking”. I want it to be with someone special. It’s very difficult to convey that to a woman in a short space of time without her getting the wrong impression. All I am trying to say is “all I want is to get a drink with you and get to know you better”. But it’s not always read that way! Haha

        1. Most women appreciate honesty. I think the people that I had given consideration to were men that cut through the BS. “I know you are approached all of the time, so not likely you will remember me in that stack of cards you get. But, unlike the rest of those guys I’m not just trying to have sex.”

          Sounds funny: drop that zero, get with this hero :)

          But, we appreciate the honesty. In densely populated cities people develop attitudes as part survival and defense mechanism. Have to get to the core of a person instead of having them be more defensive.

          Started getting into your blog, then was alerted to this message you sent :) Looking forward to reading more. Have to say kudos to you it is very rare for a man at your age to be selective!

          1. Haha well with regards to selectivity, I have never wanted to be the guy that has slept with loads of women but never been able to make a go of anything. It’s nothing religious but I do consider sex a big deal. I think if you use protection for something and run the risk of pregnancy, then you have to feel something more for someone than acknowledgment. Perhaps I am a hopeless romantic but I still sex as an expression of something deeper. That’s not to say I have no sex drive. I just understand what is driving it.

            Cutting through the BS by the way is great. Still, I have seen girls run away doing that too. Sadly it doesn’t always work!

            1. That is very impressive, David! In an increasingly hypersexual time, where most of your counterparts in the US (both genders) are trying to figure out what gender to have sex with :)

              Yeah, but the right person will respond. I have found that it has little to do with opportunity, it has more to do with receptivity and availability (emotional and physical). Opportunities are abundant.

              1. Thanks! I think I know what I want. It’s just finding someone like minded. I consider myself a loving person and I am very trying (haha) so I don’t think anyone who does give me a shot would be disappointed haha.

                I think it is true that there are many opportunities but it seems that it is about finding people at the right place at the right time. I also agree with you about the society we live in today. It’s funny. I think we still live in a very homophobic society. What is amazing (to me) is how my attitudes have changed towards it. Probably my feeling comfortable towards it is to do with exposure to it and that it is often the fear of the unknown !

                1. That’s the difficulty about love! We are all seeking something, but find things that resemble what we want. Most make a person fit for a time in their lives; others hold out for the ideal person to enter their lives.

                  Yes, your attitudes about homosexuality changed as a result of saturation. Does the UK have a trend in it’s bisexuality label?

                  1. I think that there are more bisexuals out there but it’s mostly with girls rather than guys (although there are both).

                    I can safely say that my bread is only buttered on one side though.

                    With regards to the what you said about fitting, I completely agree. I just couldn’t tell someone I am only with someone because they were the best I could do or my only option. I think the notion of settling is never fair. Especially to the other person.

                    1. Oh absolutely. Spending time with someone that doesn’t make you happy delays 2 people’s happiness: theirs and yours. Settling is completely unfair because it delays and arrests both people.

                      Yeah I didn’t doubt your heteroness :)

  20. This is just freaky because this happened to me in the park recently with my 6 year old daughter. No matter how many times I pointed out that I was married and uninterested he just kept going. Toward the end he even asked me for my address and phone number. Is it even possible to discourage these types of guys?

    1. Unfortunately, beta males are devoid of picking up on important social cues. Like, I’m not interested ;) it’s intentional that they be oblivious, it’s the thing that preserves their ego!

      Short of calling the cops-I don’t know what would work!

      Thanks for stopping by my blog & sharing your thoughts! I really appreciate it!

  21. There is a lot to be said for avoidance. Strengthen your peripheral vision. If someone is adjusting their belt near you, they are an idiot. No offense to you for being there. Allow me.

    A certain amount of the male (I am one) population is so foolish they will die this way. Men who talk to women in public are mastrubating their ego. Do this: stand up, act like you can act and dissociate. I have done this, but with experience because my ego is disintegrated. Stand and yell, “Omigod! I have to pee so fucking bad.”

    THAT is not appropriate. Its a revelation. Guys don’t want it. Their reaction to that or ANY fallicy is a test. Its not lying. The 10 commandments do not say DON’T LIE… Its for lawyers and means not to perjur yourself. I have come across dangerous people, on drugs some of them, felons and worse. Don’t screw around. Ive seen to many nice ladies have scum stand close and I really wanted to stuff those guys in a bag and drop them off in Ecuador.

    If you follow my blog you may run into stories where I get mugged and we are talking they wanted butt love, not my wallet. You gotta get away from these horny belt losers. They need castration.

    1. Wow! Thanks so much for the great advice! Now, I know what to do in the future ;) I do agree that it’s all ego masturbation for men or the lack frontal lobe action!

      I am sorry to hear of that very traumatic experience! I am glad you were able to sounds like fight them off!

      I am looking forward to checking out your blog! Thanks for sharing your insights & blunt honesty!

  22. Use all the comments as advice.
    My advice is to:
    Stop deaths by homocide
    Stop rapes
    Stop engaging behaviour (the hunt)

    I am into extremes, because in Portland, we get the West Coasts worst… they capture people.

    God bless you women, keep the nightmare man away, buy a concealed .32 pistol, get a license, fire once in the air, then aim for his balls. If they look like they need to go away NOW. Otherwise leave. Practice at a range. Youre all foxy.

    1. Thanks so much for your kind words and support! You are so right! For a second there, I thought you were going to say Sandberg suggested it for relationships & I was thinking did I miss something?! ;)

      It is a really great book. Did you join the lean in group in your city? Hopefully, we are all creating empowerment for women in all areas of our lives!

    1. I agree that women are all different and we are certainly not the same as men. My article is suggesting that women realize that they are in power when it comes to who they date. It’s about meeting the guy that she would prefer to meet instead of having to endure some beta male’s attempts.

  23. You nailed it! Haha.

    Men dating men is a minefield for that kind of thing. You know that the sexiest thing a victim can do is be confident. It also puts you in control. Men like that are so unused to seeing it that they are often left dumbstruck. Put them in their place ladies.

  24. Clarissa, I just finally got the chance to hop on your blog. Holy Jebus! You are funny. I wasn’t kidding when I said on the chat the other day that I think you and I could do some serious damage together. The deal is sealed: I love you.

    Emily Reese in Reno

    1. Also, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE come out to Reno and stay in my humble abode. I’m a 10 minute walk from downtown. And if you think you might be interest for reals… we can even shlep over to wine country. I know a place we can stay at for free that is the bomb shniggity.

  25. Excellent stuff here! I’m glad I’m married because I doubt I’d I could handle the dating scene these days. Well, besides the fact I’m middle aged and with kids and never did have any game to begin with! Enjoying your stories!

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