Went out on a date with this guy who has had interest in me for a while. During the course of the date, he informs me that his coke habit is now reduced and that he is improving his lifestyle all together. Great! Then he delves into his requirements while he is on coke. First, he needs to be alone and realized that he was isolating himself from many of his friends. Makes sense.
The second reason he has to be alone is because he needs to watch porn to relax while on cocaine! “Really? But aren’t they both stimulants?” “Yes, but you can’t get hard while on coke.” “Right.”
After the date is over, he informs that he is not interested in anything exclusive or a committed thing. Really? Wait! I thought it was perfectly acceptable to be in an exclusive isolated relationship with your coke habit and porn collection!
I think I went on a date with that guy … only I walked out while he was on the loo. Coke, Porn, was all I needed to know
The best times I’ve ever had about myself watching p*** for 12 hours and a shot and doing an eight ball of coke by myself
That’s exactly what he said!
LOL. Ughhh! believe me I thought about it! My only option was to pull the fire alarm!
There was a time in my life when I stopped going to the bar and just wanted to stay home, do blow and chat online with chicks hoping to see a nipple on Yahoo Webcam. This guy is on his way there.
LOL! Hopefully he doesn’t stay in this pattern too long! Eventually, he’ll come to terms with the emptiness in his temporary escape plan. Or he’ll find himself friendless, jobless, etc.Thanks for reading and your great insight!
trust me this guys never ever get off their addiction and most importantly they dont see what they do to themselves
Thanks so much for the advice. I would have to agree with you. It is a very individual choice to change one’s lifestyle decisions. They have to decide when and what they want we won’t be able to do much till they get to a point where they are ready to change!
I disagree about addiction. It depends entirely on the guy and where he is with his addiction ie: is he on a path of healing? If he is still actively in the middle of an addiction then it’s difficult. My fiancee used to have alcohol problems. I was prepared to leave him if he didn’t sort it out. Luckily for me he did! It is possible but they have to want it.
Sounds like this guy was only perhaps at the beginning of contemplating change.
I wouldn’t get into a relationship with him, date others..
But it sounds like you have it sorted anyway and can see the situation clearly 🙂
Can’t believe what some guys say! At lease he was honest 🙂
Yes, it is about where the person is within their readiness for behavior change. I strongly believe that people have the ability to assist/motivate/inspire the person to actualize change. One person can change the entire of course of a person’s life. But, the person has to be in that pre-contemplative stage for another to have impact, whether it’s subconscious or conscious process, At least from what I have encountered. Even when they are given ultimatums such as yours, they valued the healed stated more than the altered state that you made them aware of. It’s a complex dynamic & process: encountering a person that motivates them, the person represents a healed version for the person, the person represents hope & the future, they were sick of themselves for altered state behavior, the list could go on & on, right? A combination of any of these things are occurring for the person, in a sense, they are seeking someone to assist & support them in their healing process.
The thing with this guy is that he wasn’t able to transfer love to anything but his other addictions: work, career, & cathexis on past relationship failure. Love is more than just an emotion, it’s an ability. It’s difficult to have a relationship with someone that is that self-loathing. They aren’t aware that they are. Coke is his primary love. Hope they have plenty of orgasms together! LOL
I am grateful he was honest! Maybe he thought I would stay in it and enjoy the self-centered ride he wanted to be on!
Reblogged this on In Feneba's eyes.
Thank you so much! So overwhelmed by your support! Can’t express my gratitude enough!
Wow, he sounds like a real catch! Ahem.
Lol he’s nice 🙂 I wish i had you to consult with before this date! 😉
Hi.
Well I dated for a long time and learned a lot before I found my happy relationship. In the end I had some help 🙂 You can read my story here: http://www.squidoo.com/have-the-relationship-you-want-e-book-my-personal-review
Thanks so much, RedSirenJulie! I really appreciate it! Love reading about success stories! Happy Valentine’s Day to you & yours!
I think the best part was that he still thought you would actually be interested in seeing hime again. Phew, good thing he let you down easy!
Lmao!!! I know right?!?! Thanks for making me laugh about it!
Have a great day girl!!!
Man! You are a legend. Superb article!
LOL Glad you enjoyed the story!